When you work with someone you consider a friend, it can be good to offer advice on how they can do their job better, or even how they can do better in life in general.

What would you do if you were trying to tell your coworker friend that he was using his ADHD as an excuse to get out of doing certain tasks that he didn’t like, but he got upset that you were calling him out?

That is what happened to the guy in this story, and his friend refused to consider this as a possibility, simply saying that he couldn’t do it because of his ADHD. At the end of the conversation, the friend told him to shut up about it, putting an end to the talk.

Check out all the details below and see who you think was in the wrong.

AITA for saying he’s using his adhd as an excuse?

I 19m have a friend 18m I work with at a fast food restaurant.

Everyone has jobs they don’t like to do.

We were talking about people we dislike working with and mention people that are lazy and pretend to have no clue what they’re doing when they just don’t try and maybe they don’t know but that’s only because they’ve put zero effort into even learning.

I joke he’s a little bit of a hypocrite because he complains if he’s ever put on the station for bagging and running out food. Like asked to not be put on it.

Keeping people focused on their areas of strength is smart.

Because he’s bad at it and not in a way practice is gonna fix its just not something that works well with his ADHD.

So, may as well have him somewhere else he’ll be more useful. But I do clarify that’s mostly a joke he’s not comparable to the ones doing no work but that is a bit of an excuse just not to do something he doesn’t like.

Yup, that makes sense. Not everyone would be good at this task.

He says yeah he doesn’t like it but it’s not an excuse it’s because of those reasons. I ask him to explain more and he says it’s difficult for him to hold short term information in his head while doing other stuff.

So all the looking at the receipt and the screen and looking what foods ready and what isn’t and what he’s already put in the bag and what hasn’t.

Why practice something you aren’t naturally good at when you can focus on things you are good at?

Then based on that what steps comes next, they got X so he has to grab Y with that etc. it’s just incredibly frustrating to do and he has to quadruple check every step of everything he does and he’s slow on it then he feels bad.

I say I get that. But task avoidance, while I understand why you’d turn to it, isn’t the best approach to any situation.

I can see why some people would want to overcome difficulties.

Like why not practice that skill of holding information like that? If anything he should take those shifts as an opportunity to do that and ask to be put back on them.

Just don’t get frustrated about it because you can’t be automatically good at everything. And yeah ADHD probably makes it harder but everything with work you can get better at.

People with ADHD can do anything if they work hard at it. The question is, does he really want to work hard at bagging fast food?

He looks at me like I’m slow and tells me in a really condescending way that’s not how that works and this just isn’t something I know a lot about and it’s better he focus his effort into what he’s better at.

I say that’s dismissive and again an excuse, there’s doctors with ADHD, you can bag food for people. Which I said in a supportive way not a you’re just lazy way.

He doesn’t want to hear this opinion.

He seemed mad and told me to just stop talking about it because it’s getting annoying. I told him I’m not being annoying, he’s annoyed because I’m telling him to do stuff he doesn’t want to do even though he knows he should.

And that’s not me insulting him it’s so he doesn’t think of my advice as just me being wrong and annoying.

It is time to drop it.

He then tells me to actually shut up please and am I trying to make him mad why am I doing this.

I say I’m just trying to help him, but if he’s not in a mood to hear it that’s okay you can think about whenever. Just try not to immediately dismiss stuff that would help you. Then he just stops talking to me.

AITA?

Yes and no. While he isn’t technically incorrect, he should have let it go sooner. It was clear that his friend wasn’t interested in what he had to say, so why keep pushing?

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a warehouse worker who noticed some fellow employees were always sneaking out early for the same strange reason.

Let’s take a look at what the people in the comments have to say about this situation.

Recognizing your areas of weakness is not a bad thing, and he seems to be doing just fine.

This person thinks he was out of line.

While he may have meant well, it didn’t come across that way.

Unsolicited advice is rarely appreciated.

You’re not a doctor, don’t act like one.

There is a time and a place where offering advice is appropriate, and this really wasn’t it. While his friend may have tried to get him to drop it a few times, he just wasn’t taking the hint.

Don’t offer life advice to someone who didn’t ask for it. He is lucky the guy remained friends with him at all.