When a parent sets money aside for their children to go to college, it can be really helpful and make it so they can start their adulthood off on the right foot.

What would you do if your Dad gave your Mom money for a college fund for years, but she ended up spending it all on herself.

That is what happened to the young man in this story, and she made him agree not to tell Dad about it and that she would eventually pay him back.

Then, years later, she told him that he needed to start paying in order to use the family cottage a few days a year, to which he said that she can take it out of what she owes him.

AITA – told mom she can bill me using the tuition money she stole from me

When I (m33) was preparing to go to university, my mom confessed that there was no tuition money for me.

Were Mom and Dad married? If so, it was technically her money. If not, she was essentially stealing from him.

Through the years my dad would give her cash to deposit but she only did the first one. She spent the rest. TBH I wasn’t even surprised.

I was used to being disappointed by her. She promised that she would “pay me back” and asked that I never tell me dad. So, for four years I thanked them for the tuition money while I took out loans.

I certainly don’t blame him for avoiding a close relationship with her.

For reasons to do with her narcissism, I have an arms length relationship with her, but she would say we’re pretty close as she assumes my smiling and nodding while she drones on about the same stories is a relationship.

We have a family cottage that she puts above everything else. She lives there about 90 days of the year.

Why would any mother not want her child to enjoy the cottage?

I’ve been going there with my gf for about 4 days for a couple summers, which she begrudges as it takes away from her time. My dad supports my going which is how I pull it off.

She recently told me that it was time for me to start paying for some of the maintenance on the cottage since I use it.

He only uses it a few days a year. Paying this much is insane. I do like his response though.

She actually suggested 1k which is wildly disproportionate. I told her she could take it out of the tuition IOU and we could negotiate the amount with dad.

She was speechless. She texted me later to say that it manipulative to bring up the tuition and to threaten to tell dad. It went on and on.

It seems clear that she only cares about herself and money.

I’ve been thinking about it and first, I’m hurt/offended that she can’t just do a nice thing for me, she has to get something for it.

Second, I guess I’m not really over the whole tuition thing.

WITAH for bringing up ancient history and not paying her for use of the cottage?

No way, she owes him a lot of money and has agreed that she would (or at least should) pay him back. Honestly, he should let his Dad know about it too so he can take whatever legal or financial steps he chooses to protect himself.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a dad who is using the credit card companies own envelopes against them.

Read on to see what the people in the comments have to say about the situation.

I wonder if his parents are married or not. That is an important detail.

Mom is definitely manipulating him. The only way to combat that is by bringing everything out into the open.

He should have told his father right away, but it isn’t too late.

I don’t know if I would go as far as this commenter. Of course, he is right that he should tell his Dad.

This commenter says Mom’s behavior is shocking. I agree and he should tell Dad all about it.

The only thing he did wrong is keep his mom’s secret for so long. He should tell his father immediately so that this is all out in the open.

It will undoubtedly upset his mother, but it is nothing more than she deserves.