When someone has a problem with you, there’s a good chance you will be mystified. Different people see different things.

See why talking about it doesn’t necessarily make things any clearer.

AITA for not limiting my friendship with someone in my friend group?

I was introduced to a guy by one of my close friends. Over time, we all became part of a friend group and now we all hang out together almost every weekend.

Today, my friend texted me saying something has been bothering her.

It’s coming out of left field.

She said it sometimes feels like I try to make her jealous about my friendship with Clark, even if i’m not the only girl in the group that makes those jokes, and we rarely do so.

She said it also bothers her that he and I talk privately or sometimes make plans.

The thing is that whenever we make said plans, it’s always with the rest of the group in mind, not just the two of us.

She said she doesn’t do that with my friends (who she never sees or talks to) and asked if we could be more careful about boundaries.

So OP responds carefully.

I told her it was never my intention to make her jealous and that I respect that she’s expressing how she feels.

But I also explained that since we all spend so much time together as a friend group, I think it’s normal that individual friendships form within it, especially since Clark and I share a lot of things in common.

From my perspective, it’s not strange that I might have separate conversations or sometimes hang out with him and the rest of the group if she doesn’t feel like going out.

She replied that she doesn’t really see us as a “group” and said she misses having more separate interactions.

But they are still not on the same page.

She also pointed out that she was the one who introduced me to him in the first place, and while she knows she can’t control relationships, the situation still makes her uncomfortable.

I think that is “weird,” since she first introduced me to Clark with the intention of setting us up.

I responded that I genuinely do see us as a friend group and that connections naturally happen when people spend time together.

I also said that if she actually has romantic feelings for him, that would be a different situation and I’d rather she just tell me. Now I’m wondering if I was too dismissive of her feelings.

AITA?

Here is what people are saying.

“Control” is the perfect word.

“Weird” is too polite for this.

Immature is right. These women never grow up.

Why value the friendship? Her friend doesn’t.

I hope OP doesn’t bother trying to rebuild this friendship.

If you liked that post, check out this story about this married man who, after rejecting many advances, had his female coworker fired for harrassment.