Telling a straight-A student his dream school is financially out of reach is one of the harder conversations a parent can have.

When a father wanted to lay out the family’s realistic college budget before application season started, his wife worried it would completely crush his drive.

The ensuing clash turned into a fierce debate over optimism and realism.

Keep reading for the full story.

AITA for saying we need to be realistic with our son about his finances for college before he applies?

My wife and I have 4 kids.

The oldest is finishing junior year and will be applying to colleges this fall.

Luckily, their son appears to excel academically.

He is a great kid and a fantastic student. Currently ranked 3 in his class but thinks he can take 2 before graduation.

He is maxed out on AP courses. Perfect GPA. Great test scores.

Their son makes great efforts to get involved outside of the classroom as well.

Tons of volunteer hours at the animal shelter and president of an animal science club he created at his school.

Key role in honor society, does the spring musical, runs track, and does marching band. All in all a great applicant.

The main problem comes down to finances.

But we fall into the weird range of being too “rich” for financial aid but too poor to pay out of pocket for an elite education.

His dream school is pricey and we don’t expect to receive much aid.

So the parents start arguing about the best way to handle this.

I have been telling my wife we need to be real with him and tell him that his best options at this point are to look at our state school (he doesn’t want to go there but will apply) OR schools that give merit aid to students like him.

We have found some schools that will basically give him full tuition for his scores and grades.

His wife thinks about it quite differently.

My wife thinks that is squashing his dream before it even starts.

She says we should let him apply everywhere and then figure it out as far as finances are concerned.

He takes a much more calculated approach.

My argument is we have 3 other kids after him to put through college. Figuring it out for him could mean less for them in the future.

I think we need to just lay it out. Show him what we can afford and what options he has that won’t put us under.

Still, the two can’t agree.

My wife thinks he worked hard and we shouldn’t crush his dreams because “where there is a will there is a way” to make things work.

So, what do you guys think? AITA?

Money is pretty much the ultimate crusher of dreams.

If you enjoyed this post, check out this story about a woman who is ready to file for divorce after she found out her husband drained their savings to buy an old car.

What did Reddit have to say?

This commenter agrees with the dad’s approach.

This situation sounds very clear to this commenter.

It’s unclear which reality his wife is living in, but it’s not this one.

The sooner his son learns the realities of adult life, perhaps the better.

Life is hard sometimes, and it’s a lesson every college student needs to learn sooner or later.