I am not a smoker. In fact, I’ve never smoked a cigarette, yet I can really feel for the couple in this story.

Imagine renting a house on a large lot in an HOA community. If you liked to smoke, and if there weren’t any rules banning smoking in your neighborhood, would you feel like it was perfectly fine to smoke outside on your property? What would you do if a neighbor complained that you were smoking and even recorded you?

In this story, one couple is in this exact situation, and they are furious at their neighbor. While the neighbor thinks the smoking is the problem, the couple in this story thinks the neighbor is the problem for trying to shame them into stopping something they enjoy doing when there are no rules saying they can’t do it.

I get their frustration. Keep reading for the full story.

AITA for continuing to smoke outside even though my neighbor hired an attorney over it?

I live in Haslet, Texas, in a single-family neighborhood (quarter-acre lots, fenced yards). My husband and I rent the home.

This started because we occasionally smoke cigarettes outside on our back patio, usually with coffee in the morning or here and there during the day. We don’t smoke inside the house or in the garage whatsoever.

Wow! This neighbor sounds annoying!

Our neighbor has been escalating things over the past few months. It started with complaints, but recently she:

1. stood on something to look over our fence and recorded me while criticizing me in front of my kids for the example I’m setting, which felt unnecessary and personal

2. posted about us in the neighborhood Facebook group, admitting she recorded me while also identifying which house is ours

3. screamed over the fence saying she hired an attorney and claimed multiple neighbors are complaining, yet most (if not all) of the neighbors who commented sided with us and agreed we have the right to do what we want in the privacy of our own home

Nothing they did was good enough for her.

We tried to be considerate and even adjusted where we sit outside.

At one point we tried going into the garage with an air filter to avoid bothering anyone, but she still complained, so we stopped doing that and moved the air filter outside.

Now an attorney has sent a formal letter to our landlord claiming we’re creating a “nuisance” and affecting her health, and threatening further action.

The rules seem to be on OP’s side.

For context:

We’re in a detached home (not shared walls)

There’s no HOA rule specifically banning smoking

We’re not chain-smoking outside all day

We’ve made efforts to be mindful

She’s wondering who is in the wrong here.

I completely understand not liking cigarette smoke, but this has escalated to being recorded, publicly posted about, and now legal threats.

At this point, I feel like I’m the one being harassed, not the other way around.

Am I missing something here?

Am I wrong for continuing to smoke outside, or is my neighbor taking this too far?

We’re taking a step back from engaging directly and letting everything be handled appropriately moving forward.

I’m not a fan of smoking, but if there aren’t any rules against it, the neighbor can kick rocks.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a tenant who decided to stop returning his neighbor’s misplaced laundry after two years.

Let’s see how Reddit responded to this story.

The law may be on their side.

This person shares his perspective.

A non-smoker weighs in.

Another non-smoker shares their perspective.

It says a lot when multiple people who don’t like smoking at all (including me) think the neighbor in this story is clearly the problem. While I don’t like smoke or secondhand smoke, the neighbor has no reason to complain. The law is not on her side, and it sounds like the couple in this story is trying to be considerate by only smoking once a day. It’s not like it’s an all-day thing and the neighbor can never go outside without smelling cigarette smoke.

While I would also be annoyed if cigarette smoke were wafting over the fence in my backyard, if there aren’t any laws against it, that wouldn’t give me the right to start recording my neighbor and complaining about them online. Sharing their address is definitely crossing the line.

They need to contact a lawyer.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a family who is resisting pressure from the HOA to remove their tree and lights.