Helping family can be complicated.

Most people want to support their parents when they’re going through a difficult time. However, things get a lot harder when the problems seem to stem from years of poor decisions rather than bad luck.

That’s the situation this person found themselves in after watching his father struggle financially for years.

Now, as he’s try to save for a home of his own, he’s being asked to help cover bills that never seem to stop piling up.

And as much as he wants to help, he also wants the chance to build a stable life for himself.

Read on to learn the whole story.

AITA for not wanting to help my dad out

My dad has made a lot of awful financial decisions in his life.

He “retired” at 52 after a workplace injury and has subsequently lived off a disability pension. He could’ve re-entered the workforce in a different role but chose not to.

He moved back into his mother’s house and lives there now, mortgage-free, obviously. He is required to pay for the incidental bills and associated costs but has fallen behind.

The house is now completely trashed due to lack of maintenance. I can’t set foot in there without getting frustrated and depressed.

Now, his dad keeps asking for money but he doesn’t have it to give.

He’s gradually started asking for financial support for bills. He offers to pay me back, but I’m mindful that he really can’t afford it without falling further behind.

I’m currently saving for a deposit for my own apartment that I purchased off-plan. I have my own bills and expenses too and am not flush with cash.

I expect nothing from my parents in terms of an inheritance, but I would like the freedom to build my own life without this additional expectation. I feel like this isn’t my responsibility. And that I shouldn’t be financially supporting a parent.

AITA?

Yikes! It sounds like these two are in a pretty rough spot.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a man whose friends say he’s privileged for wanting to eat at nicer restaurants.

Let’s see what the readers over at Reddit think about the whole thing.

This is a good point.

According to this reader, it’s the dad’s problem.

Here’s someone who thinks he has his own life.

That’s a good way of looking at it.

It’s easy to see why he feels so torn.

Nobody likes watching a parent struggle, especially when they know they have the ability to help. However, that doesn’t mean they should have to put their own goals on hold to solve problems that have been building for years.

Meanwhile, this young man is trying to save for a home and build a future of his own. And that’s exactly what he should be doing at this stage of life.

Besides, helping out once is one thing. Becoming responsible for a parent’s ongoing financial problems is something else entirely.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a stepmom who says stepson isn’t doing enough, despite the fact that he’s working 12-hour shifts to pay for his own college.