Rekindling a friendship after a decade apart sounds like a good idea… right up until the same old patterns start showing up again.

A woman who reconnected with a childhood friend she hadn’t spoken to in ten years found herself back in a dynamic that felt uncomfortably familiar, complete with backhanded compliments, six-hour daily FaceTime calls, and a slow drain on everything she had built for herself.

After a falling out in February and a trip to help with post-surgery recovery in March, the communication faded entirely.

So when her friend’s graduation invite arrived, she wasn’t so anxious to attend. And when she heart-reacted and left her on read, the friend started being passive-aggressive all over again,

Keep reading for the full story.

AITAH for not going to my childhood friend’s college graduation?

So I (29F) have known Michelle (29F) since middle school.

We were extremely close through most of high school but had a falling out at some point.

I don’t remember what it was about, but it was enough for us to not talk for the last 10 years.

Then one day, she heard from Michelle again.

She called me out of the blue last spring and was on FaceTime with a few of our other mutual friends, and we rekindled.

When we first started talking again, I was hesitant because although I didn’t remember exactly why we fell out, I knew it was because of how she had treated me.

Michelle was being a lot nicer, but still she took a guarded approach.

I tried to keep my distance this time around and thought we could be friends without having to be glued to each other, because we are both near 30.

In the last 10 years, I have moved states twice, been married and divorced, started and maintained a successful career, and fallen in love with my life.

Michelle’s life turned out quite differently.

Michelle has stayed in our hometown, has been working on her BA, is on government assistance, and has a dream of moving to another state and marrying rich so she can become a stay-at-home mom.

She picked up on something strange whenever she talked to Michelle.

I only mention this because when we started talking again, it was clear to me that there was a bit of resentment on her end.

I picked up on this through some backhanded compliments and other remarks about my lifestyle.

Quickly, the whole ordeal got a little too intense for her.

Our rekindling quickly turned into us being on FaceTime for six to eight hours a day, sometimes more, even while I was working.

I quickly felt like the progress I had built for myself was slipping away because I had no time to spend by myself working on my passions and hobbies.

She hesitated to tell Michelle how she felt for several reasons.

I should have said something but had some residual fear over how she had treated me in the past, and I could see how she was handling issues in her other friendships.

It was clear to me she would not take it well if I were to try and take a step back, so I let it go on way longer than it should have.

Still, the two moved on, but things were still weird.

We had a tiff in February that I don’t feel like I have really recovered from, and the last time I went to see her was in March to help her after she had surgery.

Following the trip in March, our conversation fell off completely over the course of two weeks.

She sent me an e-vite to her graduation and the party in mid-March, and I heart-reacted but didn’t respond or RSVP.

There has been no communication since.

But she thinks Michelle still resents her for not responding.

She has, however, been making passive-aggressive story posts on Instagram that I believe may be about me.

I feel like a bad person for not supporting her in getting her degree she has been working on for the last decade, and I know if I don’t go that will be the end of our friendship.

At the same time, she’s not sure how much she owes to someone she considers a crappy friend.

But she also hasn’t been treating me well and I don’t know if I even want to be her friend.

This whole thing just feels so juvenile to me.

AITA if I don’t go?

It sounds like she and Michelle just don’t have that much in common anymore.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a young woman who struggles with her new reality after learning her adoption story was a lie.

What did Reddit think?

It’s clear Michelle needs a lesson in what a normal, adult friendship should look like.

This user suggests a reasonable compromise.

It’s normal to outgrow a friendship, and this user thinks that’s exactly what’s happening here.

Would the end of the friendship really be such a bad thing?

She can appreciate her friendship with Michelle for what it was, but the time has come for her to move on.

It’s clear she and Michelle are in completely different places in life — and that’s okay. But to let herself be dragged down by Michelle’s childish behavior would be a real disservice to the life she’s worked so hard to build.

For now, the graduation invite needs to stay left on read. She can send a gift if she wants, but there’s no point pursuing anything further.

There are some friendships you just outgrow.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who doesn’t want to go to the amusement park with her friend anymore, because the friend can no longer ride most of the attractions.