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When a loved one falls on hard times, it is great to help them out as much as you are able.

What would you do if, after your parents got divorced, your father was having a really hard time and didn’t have anywhere to live?

That is what the son in this story dealt with, so he let his dad live with him, but only as a temporary solution. After a while, he gave him a firm deadline to move out, but as that deadline approaches, his dad still doesn’t have a new place lined up. So, he is wondering if it would be wrong of him to stick to the deadline and kick him out anyway.

I think he has to stand firm on that deadline, or his father will never move out. Read through the full story below and see if you agree.

AITA if I (29M) kick my dad (59M) out of my house (making him homeless)?

A couple years ago my parents had a bad divorce and my dad ended up with nothing.

Divorce can be very difficult for many people.

At first he lived out of his car, then he was able to rent a cheap room through a coworker until this past March, almost 4 months ago.

My wife (30F) and I (29M) felt bad and offered to let him stay in our basement, since it has a separate entrance.

Dad doesn’t seem to be very motivated at all.

We did not set a move-out date when he moved in (early March), just agreed that it would be temporary (under 6 months) and with the condition he saves money and gets his life together ASAP, prioritizing looking for housing.

After a month I started to regularly ask for housing updates. He is always vague and brief in his replies-“still looking” etc. I had to push him to apply for food stamps-I sat with him and did the application for him on my laptop.

Setting firm deadlines is important.

Every day since he moved in, my dad has been going to work and either coming back to smoke weed and sleep, or at most, hanging out smoking with a friend before returning- no real effort to change his situation.

Towards the end of April (6 weeks into him staying with us) due to his lack of effort and the overall inconvenience, we decided to set a move-out deadline (June 27th, 10 more weeks).

They are more than willing to help him.

I sent him a long text emphasizing this is for his own good, to get him working on finding housing, because we hadn’t seen efforts.

My wife printed several low income apartment applications, and I sent him links to several cheap room options I found for him on craigslist, roommate finding websites, FB, etc.

He puts things off until the last moment.

May passed with no updates. After I ramped up to daily reminders over text and in person, he finally submitted an application LAST WEEK on 6/17 to an apt.

That building mailed us today-he is now on the waitlist for when an apt becomes available. If he had just started more of this process earlier (even in May when my wife printed the application) maybe he’d have a place lined up?

There will always be one more reason why he isn’t ready to move out.

But he didn’t, so he texted me today (Tuesday, 5 days before move-out) saying: “I’m still looking, l’ve got a couple of numbers that [COWORKER] gave me and I’ll be calling tomorrow, l’ve been trying..I know how much you and [WIFE] have done for me and how much I appreciate you being here for me..I’m hoping i can stay a little longer than you said, I’m really looking and trying to find a place”

We know the economy is bad, but I agree with what my wife said- at a certain point it’s not our responsibility to keep helping/enabling him when he refuses to help himself.

Dad did this to himself.

He’s had almost 4 months now to live rent free and figure it out. Besides maintaining the boundary (we set a deadline, we are keeping it), we have several reasons this isn’t an ideal setup for us anymore.

Would we be in the wrong if we stick to what we said and ask him to move out this Saturday (rendering my dad homeless even though he could put WAY more effort into finding a place)?

AITA?

No, they were very generous and put a deadline that was more than reasonable in place. If he had started actively looking for an apartment right away, they wouldn’t be in this situation.

Read on to see what the people in the comments have to say about it.

This commenter thinks he is wrong for sticking to the new deadline.

Why would Dad change at this point in his life?

If he wants to give him another month, that is fine.

I think this commenter is correct.

He isn’t likely to change his ways.

Dad is being disrespectful and unappreciative at this point. They already let him move in and get on his feet, but he has done almost nothing to improve his situation.

Some people will never help themselves until they are forced to, and that certainly seems to be the case here.