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Most people appreciate a neighbor who brings up a genuine concern, but it’s a lot harder to take seriously when the reasons keep changing.

That’s what this homeowner started dealing with after moving in less than two years ago.

At first, the neighbor suggested removing the tree simply because he didn’t think it belonged there.

Then, a year later, the same tree suddenly became a supposed safety concern. But after looking into it, the homeowner realized the information didn’t even match the type of tree growing in the yard.

Now the neighbor keeps pushing for another conversation, while refusing to just say what he actually wants.

Read on to see what your thoughts on this situation are.

Neighbor is being deceitful, do I call it out?

We moved in less than two years ago.

Our neighbor—a retired, keen gardener who has lived there for over 20 years—asked last summer what we planned to do about a specific tree on our side of the boundary fence. We said we liked it and were keeping it.

He suggested we remove it, claiming it had “probably self-seeded,” as if that somehow made it less ours.

After a year, he started it up again.

Fast forward a year. He messaged us again about the same tree, this time claiming concern about its proximity to his drainage run and that it could become a very large tree.

When I asked for more information, he sent a cropped screenshot of a Google AI overview without showing what he’d actually searched for.

The guidance he shared doesn’t apply to this species, which is a low-growing shrub. The concerns he raised—root damage, structural risk, and significant height—relate to a completely different species, something you’d expect a seasoned gardener to know.

Critically, when I asked him directly if there were any signs of damage or urgent concerns, he confirmed there were none.

Admittedly, he didn’t even know the tree existed until recently.

He also claimed he’d only just noticed the tree last year. This is a tree that has stood several feet above the fence line for over a decade and is visible in Google Maps’ historical Street View. He’s been gardening next to it for years and specifically mentioned it to us last summer.

When I asked him directly what he actually wanted from us, he refused to answer. Twice. He then called my questions “endless text messages” and said he needed to hear my views before deciding what he “may or may not” ask. He then pushed hard for an in-person meeting.

Worth noting: last year, his drainage overflowed onto our property. He took days to tell us. When he finally did, he explained the cause himself—a new brand of thick toilet paper. It had nothing to do with tree roots.

She tried to be civil, but is unsure what to do now.

I’ve done my research. I’m also a keen gardener. His concerns don’t apply to this species. I believe he wants the tree removed. He suggested it last summer, and we declined. This feels like a second attempt with a more elaborate justification built around concerns he’s already confirmed don’t currently exist.

We have a young baby and limited time for this. He pushed for an in-person meeting during an extreme heat wave. I said, “Sure, pop by,” but he treated it like a confirmed appointment. We missed him. He rang the doorbell twice, called twice, and then sent a formal message asking if “nothing untoward” had occurred.

I’ve since sent a friendly text saying we have nothing more to add to the discussion. I haven’t called out what I believe are his lies or deceit. I’ve only asked questions. Is he trying his luck?

How would you handle a neighbor like this long term?

Wow! It does sound like he has a personal vendetta with the tree.

Let’s see how the fine folks over at Reddit think she should handle it.

That detail wasn’t actually in the story though.

It may be as simple as doing this.

Or she can do this if she wants to be more aggressive.

Let’s hope he doesn’t do that.

At some point, you have to stop chasing someone else’s arguments and look at their actions instead.

The neighbor already asked to have the tree removed once, and the answer was no.

Nothing that’s happened since really changes that. If he has a legitimate concern down the road, he can always bring it up then.

For now, the homeowner has handled this about as well as possible. But keeping everything in writing and refusing to get pulled into a debate will probably make life a lot easier in the long run.