Source: Pexels/Reddit

Relationships with siblings can grow and change as both parties grow older, but adding kids of your own into the mix is sure to shake things up. Just because somebody was a great sibling doesn’t always mean that will translate to them being a great aunt or1 uncle.

What would you do if your sibling began holding things over you and your child’s head for seemingly no reason whatsoever? One woman recently opened up about her sister’s bizarre behavior like this on Reddit. Here’s what she said.

AITA for telling my sister not to buy things for my daughter if there are strings attached?

I (35F) got into an argument with my sister (33F) over a donated pool toy that she had bought for my daughter years ago when she was little.

She texted me asking if I still had it, and I told her I had donated it because my daughter outgrew it a long time ago.

Seems reasonable enough.

She then told me that she thought she had previously asked me to save anything she bought for my daughter instead of donating it, and that moving forward she wanted me to ask her before getting rid of anything she purchased.

The issue is that I genuinely only remembered her specifically saying that once about a particular item, not every single thing she’s ever bought my child.

The former is a rational request; the latter is not.

The conversation escalated because she started bringing up how much she’s bought for my daughter over the years and how frustrating it is when things she bought get donated or given away.

To me, that immediately felt like gifts and help were being turned into emotional leverage.

Most people would interpret it that way.

For context, I grew up hearing a lot of “after all we’ve done for you” and “after all the money we’ve spent on you” from my parents, so this hit a huge nerve for me.

I am very sensitive to the idea of gifts or support becoming something that can later be held over someone’s head.

Nobody appreciates being made to feel that way.

I told her that if gifts come with conditions, expectations, or future obligations attached, then I’d rather she not buy things for my daughter at all.

I also told her my child is not going to grow up feeling indebted to people because they chose to buy her things.

She thinks I completely blew this out of proportion and became defensive over a simple request.

They’re certainly not seeing eye to eye here.

From her perspective, she was just asking for sentimental or reusable items to be set aside instead of donated.

From my perspective, if you give a child something, especially clothes, toys, or baby items, the parent manages those items.

Kids outgrow things constantly.

They are famously known for that.

I can’t read minds or know which items someone secretly expects returned years later unless they directly tell me.

Now I feel awful because the conversation got heated, but I still stand by the principle behind what I said.

AITA?

The sister’s gifts are starting to sound more about her and less about her niece.

Let’s see if the Reddit comments agreed.

Most of the comments were baffled by the sister’s behavior.

One person immediately pointed out the obvious.

Another emphasized the unspoken rules.

And suggested setting a hard boundary.

But someone else shared some armchair psychology.

Sounds like she’d better start keeping receipts.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a middle schooler who was totally frazzled after being left to babysit alone for 3-plus hours, and swears she’s never doing it again.