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When you are wealthy, you often get asked to support various causes, and it is up to you to pick and choose which ones you donate to.
What would you do if you had been making large donations to the poor school your sister-in-law works for to help them out, and now your other sister-in-law asked for a donation to a rich private school to help get her son admitted?
That is the situation that the rich guy in this story is in, but he decided not to donate to the rich school, which made his in-law very upset. She even said that he is picking favorites.
Personally, I think it is his money, and he can do what he wants, but I can also see why the in-law is hurt. Read through the full story below and see what you think.
AITA for “refusing to help get my nephew into a good school” according to my SIL?
I(38M) have done very well for myself financially. I won’t get into a lot of details, but my business makes high 6/low 7 figures in profit each year.
He is very generous.
I am determined to not be a jerk who just stockpiles money. I live a very fulfilling life but I also make sure to help my family (parents (60s) and my two brothers and their families).
The issue is this: one of my SILs teaches in a school in a very poor area. I drop about 6 figures each year in charity to help her school and the students (paying for food, clothes, supplies, and even funding a few programs).
This is a separate help from what I provide to the rest of the family.
It is his money; he can decide how to spend it.
My other SIL has been looking into getting my nephew into some really fancy school, but since he hasn’t been with them since kindergarten, they are implying that he will only be accepted if his parents make a “substantial donation” to the school.
My brother and SIL came to me asking for me to provide said donation. I refused, because I think it would be better to provide for kids that really need help instead of some hoity toity private school with a crest and long history.
I can see why they are upset about this, but it is his choice.
Long story short, after a long back and forth, my SIL says that I am a jerk for playing favourites.
And for ruining my nephew’s future by refusing to help him get into this school.
He is free to do what he wants, but he has to understand that people will feel a certain way about it.
So, am I wrong for not making the donation?
I mean I could afford to do so, but I am refusing out of principle.
AITA?
It is his money, and he should do what he wants with it, but I can also understand why his in-laws are hurt. He is willing to donate money to families he doesn’t even know at the other school, but not to help their child get the best start possible in life.
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Let’s see what the people in the comments think about this situation.
He is very generous. But it is not surprising that his in-laws are mad.
Yup, he can do what he wants with the money.
This commenter is correct. Giving money to the private school is essentially a bribe.
Donating to the private school is helping set his nephew up for success. It may not be right, but it is true.
Giving to poor schools can do a lot of good. Nobody is denying that.
It is not surprising that his family is upset with him. Sure, it is his money, and he can do what he wants with it. To see him giving it to strangers at the other school, however, would be upsetting.
There is nothing wrong with wanting what is best for your child. That seems to be what his in-laws desire, and he could make it happen. They are mad that he is refusing.
