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Controlling relationships are easier to see from the outside than from the inside, and this friend has been watching one unfold with growing alarm.
A woman whose best friend had moved cities, moved in with a boyfriend, and taken two separate jobs through his referrals found herself listening to a breakdown story where the boyfriend blamed his girlfriend for “making his life unbearable” and ruining the home environment.
She began to realize that this toxic boyfriend was completely isolating her best friend — and she was worried about what might happen if she didn’t end it soon.
Keep reading for the full drama.
AITA for telling my friend to give up on her new internship because of her relationship
My friend found her boyfriend on LinkedIn, and they started out as friends.
He referred her to the company he was working at and she got a job there.
But once she moved, they took their relationship to the next level — and she doesn’t exactly approve of her friend’s choice.
She then moved to Bangalore for work, and a few weeks later they became a couple, and sometime after that she moved in with him.
About the boyfriend — he’s a narcissist who loves people who bend to his ways.
She doesn’t feel like he treats her well at all.
Whenever my friend is expressive, he shuts her down by calling it embarrassing.
He doesn’t let her talk about their relationship to her family or friends.
The only friend who even knows about them is his friend, who is just an *** kisser toward the boyfriend.
So soon the time came for her friend to look for another job, but her friend’s boyfriend covered for her once again.
My friend’s internship was about to end and she didn’t see it converting into a full-time job — the same was true for the boyfriend.
So he decided to move companies and look for a new internship, and once he got in somewhere he again referred my friend to the same place.
She got selected, and now they’re supposed to be working together again.
Her friend soon reveals that their relationship isn’t going well at all.
Yesterday they got into an argument, and he broke down saying how she has made life difficult for him, how she ruins the environment at home, and how she would only be satisfied when she sees him on his deathbed.
So she warns her friend to get out while she still can.
She told me all of this, and I honestly told her to move out of the apartment, reject the new internship offer, take a different job, and get separated from him socially, career-wise, and individually.
Is this wrong advice?
AITA?
This boyfriend is practically a walking red flag.
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What did Reddit think?
This commenter applauds this woman for trying to help her friend through a tough time.
This boyfriend definitely sounds like he’s bad news.
This user has a different opinion.
Good advice and comfortable advice are different things, and this friend gave the good kind.
She watched someone she cared about accept job after job from a partner who kept her hidden from her own family, shut her down when she tried to express herself, and then blamed her for the state of their shared life during an argument.
Any good friend would have seen these flags and stepped in — and that’s exactly what this woman did.
No one deserves to be treated this way.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a mom who homeschooled during the day and worked at night, only to have her employer try to change her schedule.
