Family Tension Grows After Bride Refuses to Put Her Pregnancy Plans on Hold for Her Sibling
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Family planning is hard enough without your sibling adding herself to the decision-making process.
In this story, a woman casually mentioned to her older sister that she and her fiancé weren’t planning to wait long before trying for kids, and her sister responded with “well, you have to wait for me to have a baby first.”
The woman immediately pushed back, explaining that nobody can promise a pregnancy timeline because real life just doesn’t work that way, and the conversation spiraled from there.
She never asked for her sister to impose on her life, but now she’s wondering if pushing back is taking it too far.
Keep reading for the full story.
AITA: older sister’s insane request
My older sister got married last year, and I’m getting married this year.
While we were talking about future plans, I mentioned that my fiancé and I don’t plan to wait very long before trying for kids.
However, her sister seemed to have strong opinions on the time.
She immediately responded, “Well, you have to wait for me to have a baby first.”
I was very caught off guard.
She lets her sister know this is kind of an insane thing to say out loud.
My response was that I wasn’t okay making that kind of promise because no one knows how long it can take someone to get pregnant.
It could happen quickly, or it could take years, and I don’t think it’s reasonable to put my life on hold based on someone else’s decision.
But her sister refuses to drop it.
She also wanted to wait to get pregnant so she wasn’t pregnant at my wedding, which she used against me in our argument. I never asked her to do this and think it would be selfish to do so since again, you never know your own pregnancy journey.
Maybe she envisioned being the first to experience certain milestones as the older sister, and I can empathize with that.
She doesn’t feel like she should be held to someone else’s timeline for these decisions.
But at the same time, I feel like decisions about when to start a family should be made by the couple involved, not dictated by siblings.
AITA for refusing to wait, or was her request unreasonable?
Unreasonable is practically this woman’s middle name.
Redditors chime in with their thoughts.
This commenter agrees her sister has taken things a bit too far.
This woman is not the main character of everyone else’s life, no matter how much she may think she is.
“Entitled” is the word this user uses for it.
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The only other input she should be listening to is that of her spouse’s.
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She can’t promise a pregnancy timeline because nobody can, and any logical person should know that without too much explanation.
The ask was never really about logistics. It was about wanting to control the order of life events in a way that feels meaningful to her, which is understandable on a human level, but completely unreasonable as a request.
This woman isn’t being insensitive by refusing to gamble her own fertility window on her sister’s timeline. She’s being realistic.
The older sister gets to feel disappointed about milestone order; that’s fair. But she doesn’t get to make that disappointment someone else’s responsibility to fix.
Nobody gets dibs on pregnancy.
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