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Imagine moving across the country with your spouse. You leave behind friends, family and a house that became a home all for the sake for a job offer.
What would you do if you had a really hard time building a new social circle in your new neighborhood? Would you try your hardest to be friendly even if your neighbors didn’t seem very friendly?
In this story, one woman finds herself in this situation, and she seems pretty desperate for friendship in her new neighborhood. She’s so desperate that she decides to take matters into her own hands and throw a party, but now, she’s wondering if she actually did something wrong.
Keep reading for all the details.
AITA, Ice Cream Social turned HOA Violation?
My husband and I moved from the Midwest to Massachusetts earlier this year for his job.
I didn’t want to leave: I had built a life I loved, close friends who became family, and a home I adored.
The move itself was a disaster: we arrived during February’s major Northeast snowstorm, our moving truck disappeared in NYC for weeks, and we lived without furniture while buried under 3+ feet of snow.
It seemed impossible to make friends.
Because of the winter, no one was outside, and despite being the only recent home sale on our street, no neighbors introduced themselves.
I tried everything to make friends via Facebook groups, clubs, volunteering, but kept hitting waitlists or being told they had enough members.
My husband and I have been together 16+ years, married 8, have a small Yorkie instead of kids (for now), and don’t fit neatly into the young-family demographic.
They weren’t loving the new neighborhood as much as they thought they would.
We chose this neighborhood because it had walking trails, seemed family-oriented, and reminded me of the home we’d left behind.
But after months of loneliness, my husband and I even discussed eventually moving back to the Midwest.
Instead, I’ve spent much of the last two months traveling to visit friends and family around the country just to feel connected.
She decided to create her own opportunity to make friends.
A couple weeks ago, after finally settling in, I decided to make one last big effort. Inspired by wanting to build community, I printed invitations and hand-delivered them to every house on our block inviting everyone, from ages 2 to 92, for an ice cream social.
I included a Mr. Rogers “Won’t you be my neighbor?” reference, a photo of my husband, our Yorkie, and me, and explained that everyone on the street was invited regardless of background.
A few neighbors answered and seemed genuinely happy.
Oh no. They live in an HOA.
The next day I received an email from our HOA stating that a homeowner (the HOA treasurer) complained our dog had repeatedly went to the bathroom on their newly installed sod and that they may seek reimbursement if damage occurred.
Their house sits on the neighborhood corner beside the only streetlight.
It’s a very dog-friendly neighborhood with miles of public walking trails used by many residents.
Our dog is an 8-year-old, 12-pound Yorkie who marks the light pole like many other dogs.
She is still trying to become friends with these neighbors.
I politely replied to the HOA acknowledging we’d keep our dog off their lawn but noted ours isn’t the only dog using that area and asked that any future claims require proof before charges were assessed.
I was hurt more than angry because this complaint came immediately after I had tried so hard to welcome everyone.
I then messaged the neighbor directly in our community WhatsApp. I re-sent the invitation, introduced ourselves, explained we’d just moved across the country knowing no one, said I was disappointed they went straight to the HOA instead of speaking with us first, assured them we’d keep our dog off their lawn, and asked that if they ever have concerns again they’d talk to us directly.
I ended by saying our ice cream invitation still stands and we’d genuinely love to meet them. AITA?
Obviously, she didn’t do anything wrong. If anything, she’s being too friendly.
Let’s see how Reddit responded to this story.
This person isn’t surprised at what happened considering OP lives in an HOA.
Another person hopes the ice-cream social is a success.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a man who stops helping his neighbors out with his snowplow after they complain about his farm.
This person thinks the neighbor will complain again.
Another person is in a similar situation.
It can be hard to move somewhere new, somewhere where you don’t know anyone. I applaud OP for her efforts to try to become friends with her neighbors, but since she lives in an HOA, I can’t say I’m surprised that her neighbor found something to complain about. HOAs seems to attract annoying neighbors.