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Workplace birthday collections are usually pretty easy to deal with and can even be fun… But what if the person you’re being asked to chip in for is someone you can’t stand?

In this case, a man who runs an IT helpdesk and has had several unpleasant encounters with a coworker. But now people want him to contribute to his birthday gift.

He doesn’t want to… But should he? Would it be more professional to just do it? It’s just five dollars, after all.

What would you do?

Read the full story below.

AITA for not putting money to pay for a coworker I dislike’s birthday present

There’s a guy I’ll call K at work I really dislike.

I should clarify I run an IT Helpdesk and I’m extremely protective of my people. This guy is not in the IT department, but works on the same floor as us.

He’s also a bully, but the kind who thinks being sarcastic isn’t bullying. For example.

One of my team members had to do a presentation on some new security features and K kept interrupting him and snorting as if my guy didn’t know what he was doing.

They have a history.

After the third time I turned to K and said since it seemed he knew more about the software than my guy then maybe he should take over the presentation.

He backed down and was quiet after.

I remember my team lead who’d sat in on the meeting kind of resignedly shook his head and I just shrugged and let my guy continue.

Another time one of my guys went to check K’s computer and I could hear K raising his voice at him. I went to his office and, without knocking, walked in and asked what seems to be the problem.

It turned out in trying to help K my guy had accidentally deleted an important document K had been working on for quite some time.

I stood silently just staring at K for a few seconds and I know it made him feel uncomfortable.

He didn’t yell, though.

My friends and students always tell me I have a policeman’s stare when I’m not in the mood for nonsense. I then took over, found the temp copy and restored the document.

When leaving I turned and smiled at him and said “See how easy that was? And no shouting.”

He got the message because he never did it again.

I should mention I don’t create tension with K and I’m always very polite and professional to him when he needs something.

I’m just not his water cooler buddy and have no wish to be.

But apparently people think he should be.

One of the girls on my team told me K’s birthday was coming up and if I wanted to contribute to the pot to get him a gift. I said no.

When she asked why I bowed my head and lifted my eyebrows and stared at her like “Really?”

She laughed and said the team figured I wouldn’t as they know I don’t like K, but sent her to ask anyway.

I remember I said you all obviously have to much time on your hands. She laughed and left. Later, she brought by a birthday card and asked me to at least sign it. I did.

He felt like he compromised, but people thought that wasn’t good enough.

Later my Team Lead found out and told me it wouldn’t have hurt to put just five dollars to the gift.

I told him I’m sorry but I’m not that person who smiles at people they dislike and rewards them. He shook his head and I remember he said “You have got to learn to play the game T.”

I think I play the game very well because I started on a phone answering help calls and now run the Helpdesk.

And I have a great relationship with everyone all the way to the CEO who insists I call him by his first name and I always answer him “Will do Mr. xxx” and he always laughs.

Everyone except K.

My problem is I just can’t find it in me to reward bullies and terrible people and just stand by doing nothing and smiling as if nothing’s wrong.

AITA?

No one should feel obliged to buy gifts for anyone. It has to come from the heart. But what did Reddit think?

Nope.

A reader shares their thoughts.

Food for thought.

Something to consider.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a longtime bank customer who walked away after the teller gave them a hard time.

Another reader chimes in.

Decency should be enough in this case and being professional is exactly what he’s doing.

Even when you don’t like someone, you are still polite to them while setting boundaries, and if they are respectful towards you too, then that’s a healthy and professional work environment.

He doesn’t need to buy gifts to prove anything.