Living under someone else’s roof can come with unspoken expectations, but one man is discovering his brother-in-law’s expectations have gone well beyond reasonable.

Despite running his own online businesses and working part-time, he rearranged his entire Monday schedule after his brother-in-law texted asking him to work a landscaping job.

That compromise turned sour fast when he was woken up at 4:45am, driven to what he assumed was the actual job site, and told to wait in the car while his brother-in-law and nephew disappeared, only to discover via Google Maps that they’d actually stopped at a jiu-jitsu studio.

Now sitting in the car fuming, he’s weighing whether walking off mid-class would be justified, even knowing it could jeopardize both the relationship and his housing situation.

Keep reading for the full story.

WIBTA if I walk off a job

I live with my brother in law, and he runs a landscaping business. He seems to have gotten it in his head that because I live under his roof, anytime he needs help with his business I’m obligated to help him.

His BIL clearly feels ownership over his time, despite the fact that he has his own job.

On Friday he sent me a text message to make sure I’m free to work Monday. Now, I’m employed (I have a few of my own online businesses and a part time job on a regenerative farm) and I already had plans Monday (today).

So far, he’s just done whatever his BIL asks to avoid conflict.

It makes me feel like a pushover, but to try and avoid drama and an argument with the person whose house I’m staying in, I just moved my schedule around.

This resulted in a very early morning.

So, I’m already ticked off at the situation, so then Monday comes, wakes me up at 4:45 am.

Get in the car to leave to the job site (or so I think) at 5:30. We roll up to a building, he says to chill out for a while, and he and my nephew get out and go on.

Then he realizes what’s really going on.

Tell me why I look at Google Maps and we’re at a jiu-jitsu studio. I got woken up at 4:45 in the morning to wait in the car while they go to jiu-jitsu before we go do whatever job he thinks he’s entitled to my help with today.

He’s about to just throw caution to the wind.

WIBTA if I just walked off while they were still in jiu-jitsu? I know this will cause problems, and put my housing at risk, but I feel so disrespected right now.

This situation has clearly gotten out of hand.

What did Reddit think?

This user also takes note of the BIL’s clear disrespect.

“Bully” is the word that comes to mind for this user.

Being more firm about his availability could help.

If he allows his BIL to step on him, the BIL will only continue that behavior.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a grandson who is tired of driving 5 hours one way to work on his grandparent’s investment property for free.

Getting woken at 4:45am for a “job” that turns out to be a chauffeur run to jiu-jitsu is a pretty clear sign of how little his time is actually valued in this arrangement.

Rearranging an entire schedule, businesses and farm job included, only to sit in a parked car waiting on someone else’s hobby is just plain unreasonable no matter how you slice it.

Sure, walking off mid-class would might cause a scene, but staying quiet indefinitely only teaches his brother-in-law that this kind of bullying works.

It’s time to stand up and start demanding better for himself.