It is great when you have a loving family, but every family dynamic is different, and there are always going to be challenges.

What would you do if you had an adopted son, but years later you found out that you also had a biological son who you are trying to welcome into the family, but this new biological son refuses to accept your adopted son as a brother?

That is the situation that the father in this story is in, and he wants to help bring everyone together, but it is proving to be very difficult.

Personally, I think this will take some time and some honest conversations. They may also benefit from some therapy. Read through the full story below and see how you think this family should handle things.

AITA for refusing to exclude my non-biological son for the sake of my biological son I never knew existed

My wife (45F) and I (45M) have 3 kids (19M, 18M, 11F). My 18 year old son, let’s call him Blake (Fake name) is not me or my wife’s biological son.

This sounds like a wonderful family.

He is my best friends son, my best friend tragically passed away when Blake was 7. My best friend was like a brother and he was a single father.

My wife and I ended up getting legal guardianship of Blake after my best friend died, Blake was 7 at the time. We got guardianship of Blake for a lot of reason, but that isn’t my story to tell, that is Blake’s story. So, I will not go into detail.

Family can be stressful, sometimes.

But Blake is my son, I will always respect and honour his biological father, but Blake views me as his dad and he views my wife as his mom. My other kids (19M, 11f) are his siblings. Things have not been easy but Blake has grown into an amazing man that I am so proud of.

Little back story, my wife and I broke up like 6 weeks after our oldest son (Let’s call him Danny, Fake name) was born because the stress of parenthood was driving me and my wife apart.

Things are getting complicated.

We were not married at the time. So, we went off and lived our own lives as single people for about a year. I was, of course, still an involved father towards my oldest son. During the beginning of me and my wife’s break up, when Danny was maybe 4 months old, I met a woman who was a lot older than me (Fake name: Lily).

Me and Lily were never a couple. We met up a few times. Never spoke to each other after that. Lily had a son James (Fake name), apparently she thought James was the son of Lily’s husband who she is still with to this day despite the fact Lily cheated on her husband (I had no clue she was married by the way).

What a surprise.

James took an ancestry when he turned 18, had some results that didn’t quite match who he thought was his biological father. He matched with me on ancestry cause I took a test a few years back.

James got in contact, which obviously was a shock to me but my wife and I have welcomed him into our family with open arms.

It is great that they can become a family.

Now I have 4 kids (19M, 18M, 18M, 11F). I’m still figuring out my father-son dynamic with James, but he is a great guy and I’m so happy he is part of our lives now. Despite how confusing this whole situation was at first.

But James seems to have some issues with Blake. Blake does not know. I’m not entirely sure why James seems to resent Blake.

This resentment will need to be addressed.

Earlier today James asked me if we could go on a father-son camping trip with Danny, I was of course very much enthusiastic about a camping trip with my sons. Especially since I missed so much of James’s life. But I obviously mentioned that Blake is invited too.

James got annoyed. He kept telling me that Blake doesn’t have to be invited to everything. Then he told me that it would be nice for me to just spend time with my actual sons for once, without Blake.

What a challenging situation.

Now that annoyed me, Blake is my son just as much as Danny and James are. So, I told James that either Blake is invited or the camping trip is not happening.

James is now accusing me of loving Blake more than I love him.

AITA?

James is obviously in the wrong, but he is also just a kid still and in a hard situation. They need to work out these emotions, possibly with therapy or just by talking it out. It won’t be easy, but it is necessary.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about this situation.

This commenter is asking some important questions.

James needs time to work through his emotions.

He could use some therapy, that’s for sure.

James undoubtedly has feelings about missing out on the relationship with his father.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a girl who thinks her family is doing too much in criticizing the tidiness in her small space.

This commenter sums it up well.

Every family has challenges they need to work through, and this is no different. Therapy for everyone involved is likely a good idea.

At the end of the day, building positive relationships with all of his children should be his priority.