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There’s a pretty significant difference between “we’re going to grab some ice cream nearby” and “we’re going out to dinner while you watch our kid.”

One busy mom agreed to a babysitting trial for her co-worker’s 7-year-old daughter, who has special needs. The plan sounded simple: her co-worker and husband would drop their daughter off around 7 p.m., grab dessert nearby and return shortly. Considering OP works two jobs, has two toddlers of her own and starts her workday at 4:30 a.m., a quick visit was about all she had signed up for.

Instead, the little girl arrived hungry, her parents announced an hour later that they were having dinner, and 9 p.m. rolled around with no sign of them. When an exhausted OP finally asked them to come back, her co-worker returned with a noticeably different attitude—leaving OP wondering if she’d somehow ruined a much-needed date night.

AITA for telling my co-worker to come pick up her child early?

So I have a co-worker (CW) who I’m pretty friendly with at work. We always talk about trying to find time to hangout more but it’s hard as I work 2 jobs and also have two kids with autism so my schedule is pretty packed.

CW asked if I could watch her 7 yr-old every now and then so her and hubby could get a break. Last night was a trial run to see how she fares in our house, like if she gets along with my 2 toddlers or if she’s gets overstimulated ect. Her daughter is also special needs so she asked me specifically if I could do this and I agreed to the trial.

This trial run was described to me as “we’ll drop her off for a little and we’ll go grab some dessert nearby like ice cream and come back. Not too long!” In my head I’m thinking, okay that doesn’t sound too bad. I can totally hangout with her for a dessert date.

And they never came back, did they?

They get to my house around 7 pm we chit chat a little bit about our workday earlier. Then I hear, “are you hungry, sweetie?” “Oh yes, I am quite hungry.”

This is where I start messing up. I didn’t call out. You didn’t feed your child dinner before coming here?? Honestly, I’m tired at this point and I didn’t feel like handling confrontation so I just ask if she would like chicken nuggets.

She was also interested in what my daughter was eating too so I made her some of that, too after her parents left.

Seems perfectly reasonable.

Little one was just a joy and she’s so smart. She’s normally homeschooled so she didn’t have a lot of interaction with other kids or people in general so she had a lot to say!

I sent her mom a little fun update and a cute video while we waited for her parents to return. About an hour later I get a message saying “we’re gonna have dinner! We’re at this address -“

I flash back to earlier when she ask her daughter if she was hungry earlier. Again I didn’t call it out. I just go that sounds yummy! I was trying to justify it thinking that she had a busy work day while mine was more mild but I felt a little used.

Too nice…

We were coming up on 9 pm by the time I was starting to fall asleep. My workdays start at 4:30 and I was wondering when she was coming back. So I finally text her that I’m sorry but falling asleep and need to get to bed soon. I get the “we’re otw” text.

Another 30 later, they come back and the energy was different. I let her in, I give her a hug hello, asking how was her little date?

She gives me a flat “it was fine” and goes straight to her daughter to get her shoes on. I felt bad cause little one did not want to leave so I just stood back and let CW do her mama thing til little one was willing to go.

What’s with the ‘tude?

CW said everything was fine after I asked if she was alright but I’m having mixed emotions on it all. I started feeling like an asshole for cutting their date short even though it was meant to be short.

They really seemed like they needed the break. My husband said I shouldn’t feel like an a****** cause I already went above and beyond accepting to do this for nothing in return and feeding their child.

What do yall think?

Commenters overwhelmingly assured OP she was NTA—and many thought she was being far too generous by even questioning herself.

Readers immediately zeroed in on the fact that OP had agreed to something very specific: a short trial run while the parents grabbed dessert nearby. She had not agreed to provide an open-ended evening of free babysitting while they went out for dinner.

The fact that the child arrived hungry bothered commenters too. OP ended up preparing her dinner on top of caring for three children, while her co-worker and husband apparently went out to eat themselves. Rather than asking OP beforehand whether a longer date would be okay, they simply informed her of their new plans after they’d already left.

Many suspected the “trial run” may have been less about seeing how their daughter adjusted and more about testing whether OP could become a convenient babysitter. If so, commenters felt her co-worker’s chilly reaction when asked to return was an especially bad sign.

Others pointed out that OP didn’t even demand they come home immediately. She waited until nearly 9 p.m., explained that she was falling asleep and needed to get to bed, and then still waited another half hour for them to arrive.

If OP decides to babysit again, readers strongly recommended establishing an exact pickup time beforehand—and making it clear that “a little while” doesn’t magically become an entire date night once the parents are out the door.

This person says the coworker is NOT a good friend.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about an employee who quiet quit, then quit for real, following a no-overtime mandate.

This person is confused by the coworker is one who needed the break and not OP…

And this person has a fun game title for this…and says NTA in the slightest.

If you say you’re grabbing ice cream and somehow make it all the way to dinner, you’ve officially exceeded the free babysitting trial period.