Relationships are hard, and it is especially difficult when someone refuses to grow up and act like an adult.

What would you do if your boyfriend moved in with you, but never helped pay for things or even cleaned up after himself?

That is what the woman in this story experienced, so she decided to stop acting like she was parenting him and just let him fend for himself. Unfortunately, he has so far not really noticed, and it is just making her angry.

Personally, I think she needs to take a more mature approach and sit the guy down and talk to him about these issues. Read through the full story and see what you think.

Done gentle parenting my bf

In 2021/2022 my boyfriend (38m) moved in to the house my sister (43f) and I (34f) shared.

Things are nice and easy for this guy.

Since it was already a functioning household, he kind of got a sweet deal and slipped in without picking up much responsibility. He didn’t do any cleaning, did not have to pay for any streaming services, or ever consider where things like laundry detergent or paper towels came from.

In that entire time, I think he did a maximum of 3 loads of laundry – I was already doing mine so of course the whole basket would get run. He did put his clothes away, that’s a chore I genuinely hate, so I never ever touched his clean clothes.

She is changing her ways.

About 10% of his clothes make it in to the hamper and I would hunt them down myself. He does not scrape the food off his plates and leaves them on the counter for days until I clean up. He only did dishes if I explicitly asked, and even then, probably less than 10x.

He never cleaned a bathroom. I would usually buy the groceries because he paid for all my drinks, weed, and meals out, which would often be daily at work. Well, eventually I stopped smoking, drinking, and eating junk food for lunch, so he’s off the hook for that.

He has been asked to help out more.

I began doing online grocery orders, so he never had the chance to slide me $100 at the register which he would very occasionally do.

This didn’t all go unsaid, it started causing increasing tensions, especially with my sister, until things between the two of them became a constant passive aggressive feud.

Hopefully, he will take some ownership of this place.

Last month we all moved in to a new house together, however this time she doesn’t have to share space with us. She has a separate floor with its own amenities.

I really hoped, and stated, that my boyfriend’s habits would improve with the ownership of a new place he had some say in. He eagerly helped unpack and rearrange furniture, contributing more than I really expected.

Nope, he is back to his old self.

All the expenses were on me though – moving truck, boxes, cleaning stuff, things we need to expand in to this new house.

And now his old habits have all cemented in the new house. I’m not doing it. Starting today.

She is trying to teach him a lesson.

I haven’t picked up his plates or empty cans/bottles for just 2 days and scrap food, takeout containers, and drink bottles litter the counter tops. Right above empty trash bins.

I have literally made my food and cleaned up around open takeout left on the counter overnight and didn’t touch it.

Can you really blame her for this?

Today, I did laundry and just grabbed the hamper – didn’t touch anything on the floor and I honestly don’t think a single article of his made it in to the wash.

I usually cook all the meals because I have dietary restrictions and have become used to/genuinely enjoy cooking. But lately I’ve been getting takeout just for myself, or buying things like a single steak instead of 2.

He might never realize there is a problem if he isn’t told directly.

Right now, he’s asleep and I can hear his motorcycle helmet saying it’s on low battery because he always forgets to turn it off. We commute daily on our bikes and rely on the comms for talking and music. Usually I’d be sweet and plug it in, nope. Enjoy a silent commute tomorrow.

How many months till you think he notices?

While he does sound awful, the way she is handling it also seems very petty and immature. Plus, it isn’t likely to fix her complaints.

Read on to see what the people in the comments have to say about this story.

She’ll just let him keep living like this forever.

But this would require maturity.

This commenter doesn’t think her efforts will work.

It might be time to end the relationship.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a friend who is upset they missed out on cheap festival passes due to her pal’s indecision.

Both of them seem very immature.

This is not a healthy relationship, and they need to communicate like adults. With proper communication, they can either fix the problems or break up.

If this story is any indication, it seems unlikely that they will remain together.