“They Use Us for Free Food”: Couple Battles Over Cutting Off “Parasitic” Friend Group
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Some friendships run on mutual effort. Others slowly become a one-way obligation, and one woman has finally recognized which category her regular dinner nights have fallen into.
She and her partner have hosted a married couple repeatedly, cooking full elaborate meals and desserts each time, only to watch their guests eat in near silence, whispering privately to each other throughout the entire evening instead of engaging with anyone else in the room.
Every attempt at conversation gets shut down almost immediately, with her friend offering minimal responses before her husband whispers something and the interaction fizzles out entirely.
Adding to the imbalance, this couple never contributes to groceries, never reciprocates by hosting anything themselves, and seems largely disengaged from the movies they choose to watch.
Now the couple can’t agree on the best path forward for dealing with it.
Keep reading for the full story.
WIBTA if I never invited my friends over for dinner again?
I have two friends who are married. My partner and I have, in the past, had them over pretty regularly for dinner and to watch a movie.
My partner often cooks elaborate meals, including a dessert.
However, these friends aren’t the most polite people.
Our friends will show up, eat the food, and just… not really talk to us.
We’ll watch the movie and comment on things (we usually watch something over the top or dumb), and we will try to interact with the married couple, but they barely speak to us.
They do plenty of other rude things too.
Instead, they’re whispering to each other nonstop. They’re having a conversation, which is fine, but it’s off-putting.
And if I try to talk to my friend, she’ll respond in very few words, and then her husband will whisper something to her, and then it’s like, oh okay, she’s gone.
These friends don’t even bother to reciprocate the effort either.
They never throw in on groceries to make the dinner, and it’s like they aren’t even interested in the movie they picked or in us at all.
They never invite us for anything, either.
Now the couple doesn’t see eye-to-eye on how to proceed.
I don’t want to invite them over anymore. My partner is similarly uncomfortable but resigned that “that’s just how they are” and they’re our friends, so we should keep doing it.
WIBTA if I didn’t plan any more dinners with them?
It sounds like these aren’t actually friends at all.
Redditors are sure to have some strong opinions.
Maybe it’s time to start planning activities that facilitate more active communication.
Maybe it’s time to step up and start being a little more assertive.
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These friends could be in it for the wrong reasons.
Ultimately, maybe this is a compatibility issue.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a friend who is upset they missed out on cheap festival passes due to her pal’s indecision.
Real friendship involves actual engagement, not just showing up to eat food someone else spent hours preparing while treating the evening like background noise for a private conversation.
Never contributing to groceries, never reciprocating with invitations, and barely acknowledging the effort being put in are loud and consistent signs that this dynamic has never actually been mutual.
This woman is starting to simply recognize that hospitality shouldn’t be a one-way obligation indefinitely and these “friends” really don’t seem to even like her.
In fact, if she cut these friends off, they probably wouldn’t even notice.
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