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Family celebrations can become strangely tense when someone expects inclusion without ever communicating it.
In this household, two adult siblings privately purchased simple Father’s Day gifts for their dad.
Instead of joining the celebration when invited, his fiancée responded with pointed silence and passive-aggressive remarks.
Read on for the full story.
AITA for not including my stepmom in purchasing my dad’s Father’s Day gifts?
“She’s not officially my step mom yet as her and my dad are set to get married in August.
She has been living with us for a while, and we haven’t always gotten a long but have been civil and respectful towards each other, I guess up until now.
My brother [18 M] and I [24 F] bought my dad his Father’s Day gifts a couple weeks ago, just so we wouldn’t have to worry about it last minute. The gifts weren’t anything huge, just two small gifts, we never go all out for Father’s Day like that.
I didn’t tell my dad’s fiancé or anything because I really didn’t see a reason too, plus she never asked.
She didn’t think it was a big deal.
My dad didn’t get her a gift on Mother’s Day, and her and my dad left on Mother’s day to go have lunch with her kids who don’t live with us.
She also never communicated with me about getting him gifts, any plans on what to do, etc. So I didn’t think it was even that big of a deal.
Today, I woke up early, had breakfast and then woke my brother up so we could give my dad his gifts, my dad’s fiancé went up into their room, so I sent her a text asking if she wanted to come down and join us.
Oh, boy…
She didn’t reply, so I knocked on their bedroom door and asked if she wanted to come down.
She gave me a condescending smile and just said “No, thank you” and just turned right back around and went into their bathroom, not even giving me a chance to respond.
Honestly, I was a little taken aback and maybe even a little hurt seeing as on Mother’s Day, my dad went with her and her kids and left my brother and I alone.
For context, my brother and I’s mom passed away a few years ago, my mom and my dad were already divorced when she passed though.
I went downstairs with my brother we gave my dad his gift and he was really happy.
She was obviously upset about this.
Suddenly my stepmom comes into the room, to discuss my brother’s laundry with him, completely ignoring the fact we were in the middle of giving my dad his gifts.
My dad excitedly shows her the gifts we got him.
And she goes, “Oh I know, they told me…well [brothers name] told me.”
It was a very passive aggressive jab which made me realize she might be upset, she went back upstairs and it was kind of awkward after that.
I didn’t even know she had asked my brother what we got my dad.
Now it’s weird…
She made no attempt to communicate with me that she might have wanted to pitch in on a gift for my dad.
Plus, I didn’t see why she’d even want to because it’s Father’s Day, and clearly my father is not her father.
AITA for not including her in buying him a gift?”
That’s pretty weird behavior on the future stepmom’s part.
Let’s see what folks had to say on Reddit.
This person said she’s NTA.
Another reader agreed.
This Reddit user shared their thoughts.
Another individual weighed in.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a group trip that sours when additional guests are added without agreement.
And this person weighed in.
The siblings bought their father two small gifts without involving his fiancée, who never expressed any interest in participating.
She declined their invitation to join them, then interrupted the celebration and delivered a passive-aggressive jab.
Commenters said she needed to communicate like an adult instead of making someone else’s Father’s Day about herself.