Pexels

There’s no question about the fact that life can be quite the rollercoaster at times. Everything might be going exactly as you planned it, or at least your day to day is quite chill, when a sudden unexpected drama or emergency appears out of nowhere. Suddenly, everything as you knew it has changed, and you have to work out how to cope in this new situation.

Maybe it’s something negative like an unexpected illness or the death of a loved one, perhaps you lost your job or your home or property were damaged in a weather event. Or it could be a great thing that still changes things dramatically: a surprise pregnancy or a new job opportunity, a proposal or the return of a long lost family member. Whatever it is, we have to be resilient and figure out how to live with this new development, for better or for worse.

Key to coping with these changes is the folks around you, and the guy in this story has proven what a great friend he is by dropping everything to travel twelve hours and spend a month supporting a buddy whose marriage suddenly ended. Even though it was difficult he was there for him – but now, later down the line, he’s realising that in their friendship, things don’t seem to go both ways.

Read on to find out what happened here.

AITA… a friend in need is a friend… indeed?

Back in November, my best friend’s wife of three years (together for over ten years total) decided she wanted a divorce. He was crushed and understandably out of his mind for a bit.

He lives in a different state, so when it happened, I was able to convince my work to let me work remotely from his place for a month while I helped him through the early stages of it.

I also took a week and half off while I was down there and drove down there to make it happen (twelve hour drive one way).

It was a rough trip and he was (very understandably) on edge, hateful, and really awful to deal with during that time. It was difficult, but you do what you do for those you love.

This guy went above and beyond to help his buddy out.

While I was there, I signed into all my paid apps (YouTube tv, ESPN plus, showtime, etc.). I didn’t ask for a dime and left my accounts signed in so he could enjoy the content while at home in hopes it could help keep him busy and his mind off of the stuff he’s dealing with at times.

Fast forward to now. There are pay-per-view events (UFC mostly) that require additional payment to watch.

He never wants to split the cost, but always watches them. One time he even went as far as to stream an event I paid for on his tv, because he threw a party around the event and had people over, while the event was live.

This meant that I couldn’t watch my $69.99 purchase until after it was over. He never offered any money for it.

Now, he’s starting to feel like his friend is taking him for a ride.

Now with the Conor McGregor/Dustin Poirier bout tonight, he claims he “doesn’t want to split it unless Conor wins.”

He said he “won’t be able to watch it live anyways, so if he finds out Conor lost beforehand, he probably won’t even watch it anyways” but said he’d pay half if Conor wins and will watch it later.

I know it doesn’t seem like a big deal, but it feels like I’m being taken advantage of by someone who’s supposed to be my best friend and to a degree taken for granted.

He thinks he’s in the right and this behavior is ok. I don’t agree.

AITA?

It feels like the grief and woe that his friend was feeling in the aftermath of his divorce is still affecting his behaviour – almost like treating his friend poorly while he was in a difficult spot has set the precedent for his behaviour now.

And that’s absolutely not okay. His friend dropped everything to be there for him, not expecting any thanks.

But to keep taking from him later down the line and not even offering any gratitude really isn’t okay.

Let’s see what folk on Reddit said about this.

This person thought that there was no excuse for his friend’s behaviour.

While others thought that he should lock the guy out of his accounts.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who is hurt she’s being blamed for not caring for her friend’s dogs, but no one asked her to.

Meanwhile, this Redditor thought this wasn’t a friend worth having any more.

Friendship is a matter of give and take, being there for one another when you need each other – and of course, that doesn’t mean that the share of support will be 50-50 at all times, because when you need to lean on your buddy you can’t always give anything in return. After all, you probably wouldn’t need support if you could. But you both know that eventually you’ll return the favours and be there for them when they need it too. Because good friendships are reciprocal without it even needing to be forced.

That is not what this friendship is. It’s all give on the part of this guy, and all take on the part of his friend. And sure, his buddy might be feeling down after his divorce and even awkward or embarrassed about not being able to afford the pay per view sports games that he’s watching on this guy’s accounts. But the least he could do is ask, or make plans to pay later down the line, or make it up to him in another way. But he’s not doing that – instead he’s feeling entitled to his buddy’s hard-earned cash, and is barely even thanking him for it.

And honestly? That’s not a friendship at all.