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Her Father Kept Walking Into Her House Unannounced. She Set a Boundary — He Gave Her the Silent Treatment

Upset woman talking to someone

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There are some boundaries that are so simple they shouldn’t even have to be explained.

Yet, a woman found herself having to explain to her dad that it is not okay for him to enter her house before texting her first.

It’s normal that if you’re visiting someone’s home, you knock, send a quick text, or at the very least wait for them to invite you inside.

But her dad felt hurt and offended when she tried establishing boundaries and asked him to wait for her to open the door.

How would you react? Do you think she should apologize?

Read the full story below.

AITA for asking my dad to stop dropping by my house without telling me?

I (30F) moved into my apartment about a year ago. My dad (58M) lives 15 minutes away and we’re close. I talk to my dad times a week and usually see him on weekends.

For the few months my dad always texted before coming over. Then he gradually stopped.

At first I didn’t care. If my dad was nearby he’d sometimes knock on my door with groceries or something he’d picked up for me. It was actually sweet.

But he basically got too comfortable.

The problem is that now my dad comes over whenever he feels like it.

Sometimes I’m working from home. Don’t answer the door because I’m in a meeting. Times I’m still in pajamas, cleaning or simply don’t feel like having company.

There have also been a couple of occasions where my dad let himself in because I gave my dad a key for emergencies.

She had to make an intervention.

I finally brought it up three weeks ago.

I told my dad “Dad I love seeing you. Could you please text me before coming over? Even just a quick message. I don’t want you to think I’m avoiding you I just need some notice.”

My dad looked genuinely hurt. Asked if I didn’t want my dad visiting anymore.

I explained that wasn’t what I said. I just wanted my dad to check first.

My dad agreed. Things haven’t really changed.

She feels uncomfortable.

Saturday my dad showed up around 9 a.m. While I was getting ready for the day. I hadn’t showered yet. I was wearing an old T-shirt and shorts. My dad knocked twice. Then used my key.

I came out. Said, “Dad we talked about this.”

My dad said, “I’m your father. I shouldn’t need an appointment to see my daughter.”

I told my dad that being my father doesn’t mean my dad gets access, to my home.

That came out harsher than I intended.

She feels bad for hurting his feelings, but he ignored her boundaries.

My dad left quickly and hasn’t called me since.

My mom thinks I should apologize because my dad is getting older and may just be looking for time with me. I understand that.

I also feel guilty because I don’t want my dad thinking I don’t love him.

At the same time this is the first place I’ve ever had that feels completely like mine. I don’t think asking someone to knock and wait for an answer is unreasonable even if that person is my dad.

Now I’m wondering if I turned something into a bigger issue than it needed to be.

AITA?

She sounded harsh because when she was nice, he didn’t listen. What did Reddit think?

A reader shares their thoughts.

Right?!

It’s just not right.

Another reader chimes in.

I agree.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a sister who let her brother maintain a shared car for years, and doesn’t want to start doing it herself now that he has his own car.

Yup.

Just because you’re family, it doesn’t mean you get to ignore someone’s boundaries, especially in a case like this.

She is clearly uncomfortable and he’s either not taking the hint or is ignoring it on purpose.

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