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Whether you’re married or living together, sharing a home and bills with a partner can be really stressful if you’re not both on the same page about your financial goals. For example, if one person wants to save money and the other person wants to spend money on a lot of unnecessary extras, there’s bound to be tension.

In this story, one woman is really fed up with her partner. He seems pretty irresponsible with his money, and he calls her “stingy.” Meanwhile, she’s denying herself things she wants because she’s worried how they’re going to pay the bills.

It seems clear to me that her partner is the problem here. Keep reading to see if you agree.

AITAH for being “money hungry”?

Myself (32 F) and my partner (33 M) have been together for 8+ years.

We argue about money a lot.

My partner is forever pointing out that I’m being “stingy” or “money hungry” and I’m absolutely over it.

Here’s some context about their financial situation.

For context, after years of arguing with him about bills/rent not being paid on time I had to assume total responsibility for our finances (it was previously 50/50.)

I never wanted to have a partnership where that was the case but living under the constant stress of ‘will the bills get paid’ was driving me nuts.

My partner works a blue collar trade and makes more money/hour than I do. However he is in the middle of paying off a garnishment from an $18k hospital bill he ignored (we live in a good faith state so he literally would have had to make $5 monthly payments and it would never have gone to collections).

I am a tipped employee. I make okay money.

Her partner seems to waste his money.

My enyire paycheck is forever going to the bills, groceries, etc.

His goes to gas, cigarettes, energy drinks, and eating out.

It’s not uncommon that near the end of the month I will get anxious because we are behind where we should be and it always comes down to me to make up the difference.

When I was working 1 day a week I remained responsible for all the bills with less than half the income.

She’s so over it.

The problem is any time we fight and I beg for help with the finances, or tell him ‘No we can’t afford that’, he starts telling me I’m just “money hungry”, “stingy”, and “a miserable person” because “all you worry about is income”.

I get noone likes to be told “No” but I’m just trying to keep a roof over our heads.

I don’t buy myself extra things. I actively deny myself things I need/want because we can’t afford it.

And still all I’m left with is an empty bank account and a partner who thinks I’m a total AH for saying “we can’t afford that”.

So AITAH?

They need a budget, and she needs a separate bank account where they put all the money for bills. They can budget something for fun money for each of them, but that’s all they get. Once her partner runs out of his fun money budget, it’s going to have to go without. That’s what I would recommend. Let’s see what Reddit recommends.

This person wonders why she’s putting herself through this stress.

Another person had a similar ex.

This person thinks she’s only hurting herself.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a man who had to sprint to the bathroom the moment he got home, then emerged to find his partner upset he didn’t greet her properly.

Everyone seems to think she should think about leaving her partner.

It’s possible the relationship can be saved if her partner is willing to get on the same page. Couples counseling or perhaps financial counseling could help. They desperately need a budget, and her partner desperately needs to stick to it.

Being responsible when you’re in a relationship with someone irresponsible is no fun for anyone.