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She’s a Nurse First and a Grandmother Second — And It Caused Tension in the Delivery Room

Woman during labor

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Inviting a family member into the delivery room is a big decision.

Well, one couple decided to invite the new father’s mother because she had never gotten the chance to witness the birth of one of her children’s babies.

She’s also a nurse.

Unfortunately, once labor started, she seemed to forget that she was there as a grandmother rather than a member of the medical staff.

It was chaotic and not in a cute way.

Now he’s wondering if he’s in the wrong for trying to establish boundaries, since his mom felt offended by it and flew home as soon as she could.

Read the full story below.

AITA for telling my nurse mom not to do “nurse stuff” during my wife’s labor?

My wife and I just had our second daughter.

For context, my mom is a nurse, but she doesn’t work in labor and delivery.

We invited her into the delivery room because she’d never been able to witness one of her own children’s babies being born, and we thought it would be really special for her.

During labor she seemed to slip into “nurse mode.”

She stood behind the nurses while they were working asking questions.

One nurse even asked, “Oh, do you work in maternal care?”

She was very nice about it, but it made me wonder if my mom was hovering more than she realized.

It started getting worrying, too.

A nurse told us, “When this machine goes off, hit the call button and I’ll come back.”

The machine went off, we called the nurse, and my mom walked over and pressed a button, turning off the noise.

I asked, “Mom, what are you doing?” She brushed it off.

Later, while the nurse wasn’t in the room, she grabbed a handful of gloves and said they were “just in case I have to grab the baby.”

I told her that wasn’t going to happen. When it was actually time to push, she started putting gloves on again and I stopped her again.

She wasn’t acting like a grandmother; she was in nurse mode.

After the baby was born, I looked over and saw her putting gloves on and starting to break down the delivery table.

I immediately said, “Mom, no. Please don’t do anything unless you’re asked to.”

What I meant was: please don’t do medical or nursing tasks unless the hospital staff asks you.

I wasn’t saying she couldn’t help us or be involved as a grandma. I meant this is a hospital, these are working nurses, and you’re here as family.

She took it very differently.

She was offended.

She called me afterward, cussed me out, said I embarrassed her, and told me, “Who the **** are you to tell me what to do?”

She said she could “do whatever the ****” she wanted.

I told her, “Not in my life.”

She also said I’m always telling her what to do, but every example she gave was something she volunteered to do. She chose to walk my dog, do the dishes, and adjust the stove while I was cooking.

When I asked her to do those things a certain way, she got frustrated.

He doesn’t know what to do.

She also tried to shame me by saying she was “helping your bleeding wife” by cleaning up after the delivery. My point was that nobody had asked her to do that.

Before the birth, my wife and I specifically said we did not want a video of the delivery, only a few pictures afterward. My mom took a video anyway because, “You liked it last time.”

That, combined with everything else, made me feel like she kept overriding what we asked because she thought she knew better.

It honestly started to feel like she was making part of the experience about herself instead of simply being there with us.

After the argument, she flew home early instead of staying the week to help us, leaving us scrambling with a newborn and a toddler.

AITA?

That sucked. Wow. But what did Reddit have to say?

Yikes.

An interesting take.

A reader shares their thoughts.

Another commenter shares their opinion.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about an uncle who is surprised to find his niece’s birthday party all about him after one unkind comment.

Yup.

Being knowledgeable about something doesn’t automatically give someone permission to take over when there are more qualified professionals present.

The couple had invited her into the room to share that once-in-a-lifetime moment with them, not to be part of the staff.

It’s really sad that she didn’t get that and felt offended instead.

Not to mention she filmed the delivery. Who does that?!

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