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When you go to college, living away from home for the first time can be challenging to say the least. You might find yourself responsible for chores you never had to do – including having to figure out how to actually do those chores! You might struggle at first to balance your money, having to pay bills as well as buying all your own groceries and paying tuition. And learning a routine as well as doing all the schoolwork that will inevitably be coming your way all just adds to the challenge.

But if you have great roommates who you develop an understanding with, all this can be lessened a little. Good people around you can give you some support – maybe your roommate helps you out with chores when you are buried under deadlines, so long as you do the same for them during their time of need. It’s a fine balance, but it’s a great opportunity to grow and mature as a person, as well as make lifelong friendships and gain a strong education along the way.

The person in this story is doing her best to balance schoolwork, her relationship, and her mental health – and unfortunately at times, this means that her responsibilities to her roommates are falling by the wayside. And one of her roommates really isn’t okay with this.

Read on to find out what happened here.

Roommates hate me

I’m currently living with two roommates, who were friends previously to me moving into our apartment. The one who is now actively asking me to move out also “couldn’t live at all with her best friend,” so probably the writing was on the wall.

The first three weeks didn’t go well, I’ll admit that. I was really depressed – they knew that though – and I didn’t do my task (which is cleaning the floor) properly, BUT because we didn’t have a vacuum!

I even asked several times, “Hey, I notice, the floor does not look good, what should I do?” “Roommate B said she would get her parents’ vacuum, when she visited.

WELL IT TOOK THREE WEEKS!

And there were other innocent mistakes that led to the breakdown in their friendship too.

I once accidentally washed clothes with our laundry detergent, which apparently is only for shared rags and stuff, but I thought we were sharing it in general – normal misunderstanding!

Worst thing is, I thought everything was fine. Then, my roommates asked if we want “to have a talk”. I even asked then, whether something was wrong. I quote: “No, why should something be wrong?”

After a few weeks we had our talk and they told me like 100 things that bothered them and cuz I’m a people pleaser, I just nodded and apologized.

I should’ve run there and then, because when I said that the kitchen surfaces are very often dirty (which is the task of the girl who REALLY hates me and has pushed against me ever since) they just said “Nah, we leave those clean every time.”

Let’s see what the situation was really like.

On that: she frequently leaves yoghurt stains, salt, paprika, oil stains etc. on the kitchen surfaces AND some surfaces she’s never cleaned in the three months I’ve been here (surfaces in the cupboards, on the windowsill, in the shelves etc.) I never complained because, well, I’m a people pleaser!

The month after that, everything went fine. I once put the water from cleaning the floors into the bathtub – WHICH THEY NEVER SAID WAS SOMETHING THEY DISLIKE – and once accidentally put laundry detergent into the wrong part of the washing mashine, which created slight clumps, which I didn’t know could happen, I just thought, man, I wasted laundry detergent but, well, it’ll be washed out anyways.

But the day, I did that, my roommates were passive aggressive, saying, “I demand an explanation!!!”

I told them, “Sorry, I didn’t know that could happen, I was in a hurry, and didn’t think” to which they said, “That’s something we hear frequently from you.”

Then, things continued to escalate.

Later, that day, I was hanging out with my boyfriend and we decided to go to the store down the street, quickly for ice cream. We were gone twenty minutes and left on the TV because signing into the streaming service was an *** of a job.

Then I got a message saying, “Why didn’t you turn off the TV?” I explained and added that it’s 2 CENTS of ​​electricity – on top of which I hardly ever use electric devices/ my lamps in my room.

What followed was an exchange of rants per Whatsapp, where I shared how dirty she leaves the surfaces and how hypocritical they act and she – as often before – accused me of “not caring” and “having no sense of community” yadda yadda.

I can’t do this no more, it’s genuinely emotionally distressing and my therapist even called it bullying…

It’s so clear that whatever the issue these girls now have with her, they’re not friends any more – and it looks like maybe they were never really friends in the first place.

This sucks because, while she has maybe been a little more careless than they would have been, these were all genuine mistakes.

But despite being on a high horse, it sounds like these girls are not acting like the mature women they pretend to be, and are hypocritical to boot.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit made of this.

This person agreed with the student’s therapist.

While others thought that they were simply not compatible as roommates.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a home buyer who was surprised to learn his neighbors were upset about him removing a fence.

Meanwhile, this Redditor wished her luck moving forward.

It’s true that some people do not work together well in a living situation – even if they were good, harmonious friends beforehand. That’s because some personalities clash in close proximity, and some folk having high expectations that don’t fit with the lifestyle or choices of others can become a big source of resentment very quickly. That doesn’t mean to say that either party is necessarily in the wrong, just that if those boundaries and expectations don’t align, nothing good is going to come of it.

But the way that her roommates are speaking to her, and the sheer hypocrisy that they’re treating her with, really isn’t fair. Expectations need to be clearly articulated by all three parties, not just the two who were there from the beginning. And if things aren’t working out, little snide comments really aren’t helping anyone.

For everyone, it will be best for her to move out. This really isn’t working.