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Sometimes, the perfect caregiver isn’t the most conventional one.

This woman has relied on the same nanny for nearly two years to care for her three children. The nanny can be chaotic and occasionally forgetful, but the kids love her and enjoy her company. Recently, however, her husband has become more critical of the nanny’s habits and wants to consider other options.

Finding someone you trust with your children can be challenging. This story is an interesting situation where one parent appreciates a nanny’s personality and flexibility while the other is starting to question her approach. Read the full story below to learn more.

AITA for refusing to get a less chaotic nanny

My husband and I have 3 kids (11M, 6M, and 4F). We have had a nanny, Mila (21F), for almost 2 years.

Mila is a ball of chaos. That is the only way I know how to describe her.

The girl just screams “undiagnosed ADHD” (one of my kids and I have ADHD, so I’m speaking from experience here).

Here are some of Mila’s interesting quirks.

Some highlights include the last time she called in sick, which was a voicemail 20 minutes before school got out.

She said, “I don’t know exactly what I did to my shoulder but it hurts like hell and my arm is tingling. The advice people say is that this is an urgent care issue so I think I’m gonna be a little late.”

Then, there’s the time she drove my kids to a Walmart 30 minutes away to get supplies for my oldest’s school project because none of the nearby Walmarts have all of the supplies.

There was a Michaels 3 blocks away that has everything. She just forgot that it was there.

This woman tolerates Mila’s behavior as long as the kids are happy with her.

She also tends to pick my kids up saying, “I forgot to eat lunch, so who wants fries/a shake/chips/other fast food side,” around once a week.

We came home to my entire living room covered in balloons because they decided the dog needed a birthday party. His birthday isn’t for 3 months.

I came home to Mila sitting on a lawn chair in my driveway while my kids flagged down drivers to buy bracelets, sodas, cookies, and random toys from their rooms.

All of these things have happened in the past 6 weeks.

You definitely have to be a little flexible to work with her, but all of the kids come back alive.

They always have everything they need for school done and she plans some really fun activities for them.

However, her husband wanted to look for a new nanny who is not as chaotic.

My husband is not as fond of Mila’s chaos as I am. He thinks we need a nanny that has more structure, rules, routines, etc.

Someone who isn’t going to take our kids out to fast food places every week or forget to take the kids to swim class.

This only happened once after the swim school changed the classes from Fridays to Wednesdays.

I refuse to get rid of Mila. I think she is a great fit for our family, and the kids absolutely love the chaos.

My husband is upset that I’m not giving him a say in who is caring for our children.

Although he’s been fine with her for the past two years and absolutely nothing has changed with her.

She thinks this all started when their 11-year-old boy started showing interest in Mila.

He’s been complaining about minor things lately (like the car being a little messy, about as messy as my car).

He has been bringing up profiles for other babysitters, mostly older women or young men.

The only thing that I can think of that could’ve caused this is my older son mentioning once that Mila is really pretty.

And an incident where we took a family vacation, he didn’t want to share a bed with his brother. Instead, he suggested that he share Mila’s bed because “she doesn’t fart.”

Mila shut that down before he even finished his sentence, and that stopped after I talked to him about him being 11 and Mila being an adult.

I can understand why OP likes having a nanny the kids love. But her husband’s concerns probably deserve to be heard, too. Caring for three children requires more than keeping them alive and entertained. I agree that both parents should have a say in who provides this care for the kids. Perhaps a serious discussion together, weighing the pros and cons, might help.

Let’s read the comments of other online users on this story.

This one loves the nanny.

This user offers some advice.

Another one thinks the nanny’s awesome.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a sister who refuses to give up her own holiday traditions to spend the day with her family at her brother’s cabin.

Here’s an honest opinion.

And lastly, this one makes a good point.

Different parenting styles can make childcare decisions complicated.