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Few things start a roommate standoff faster than a disagreement over what the apartment should smell like.

A woman asked her roommate to stop using strong wallflowers in the shared kitchen because they were giving her headaches.

Things seemed mostly settled until her roommate walked past her open door, noticed a candle on her desk, and snapped about the perceived double standard.

The woman explained that the candle was much milder, but the roommate wasn’t buying her excuse at all.

Read on for the story of how a previously peaceful roommate relationship started to go up in smoke.

Roommate aggressive with me for burning a candle in my room

So my roommate used to use wallflowers in the kitchen and her bedroom, and I just found the smell way too strong. It was giving me headaches, and I wasn’t able to breathe.

She decided to stand her ground.

I asked her not to use them in the common area, and that I don’t care if she uses them in her room.

(I can still smell them from her room from time to time, but it doesn’t affect me much since it’s only if she leaves her door open, so I deal with it.)

But her roommate wasn’t quick to let this go.

I am burning a candle my friend got me for my birthday. I don’t find candles to be as strong as wallflowers, and this candle is especially light scented, mainly for the ambiance.

My roommate passed my room while the door was open, so she saw my candle on my desk and said, “How does my wallflower bother you but that candle doesn’t?”

It was said in the jerkiest tone ever.

To her, this was totally different, but her roommate clearly disagreed.

I just kinda was like, “Idk, it’s not as strong.”

Then she rolled her eyes and muffled something under her breath. I didn’t fully hear it, but it wasn’t anything nice.

Then she slammed her bedroom door.

Sounds like there’s some bad energy in this apartment.

What did Reddit have to say?

This redditor is envisioning a massive fire hazard.

This user agrees the two situations aren’t really comparable.

This really should be common sense.

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If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a college student who decides to send his university a counter-bill after they try to get him to pay “inconvenience fees.”

It’s impossible for roommate relationships to be harmonious all the time.

This roommate heard a reasonable request and took it more like a personal attack.

The candle comment was clearly her way of looking for a “gotcha” moment.

But at the end of the day, a lightly scented candle on a desk in a closed-off room is a completely different beast from plug-in air fresheners running all day in a shared kitchen.

Asking to be able to breathe comfortably in your own kitchen is a pretty low bar.

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Author

Benjamin Cottrell

Benjamin Cottrell | Assistant Editor, Internet Culture

Benjamin Cottrell is an Assistant Editor and contributing writer at TwistedSifter, specializing in internet culture, viral social dynamics, and the moral complexities of online communities. He brings a highly analytical, editorial voice to his reporting on workplace conflicts, malicious compliance, and interpersonal drama, with a specific focus on nuanced stories that lack an obvious villain.

As a published author of rhetorical criticism, Benjamin leverages his academic background in human communication to dissect and elevate viral social media threads. Instead of simply summarizing events, he provides readers with balanced, deep-dive commentary into why the internet reacts the way it does. In addition to his cultural reporting, he is an experienced fine art photography essayist and video game reviewer.

When he isn’t analyzing the latest viral debates, Benjamin is usually chipping away at his extensive video game backlog, hunting down the best new restaurants, or out exploring the city with a camera in hand.

Connect with Benjamin on Instagram and read more of his essays on Substack.