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It can be really awkward when a family member dies and multiple family members want certain belongings. Especially if you feel entitled for whatever reason.

Read on to see why this grieving granddaughter won’t comply with what her family wants.

I lost my grandmother a few months ago, ironically on the anniversary of my mom’s passing.

Grandma had a necklace that she gave to my mother before I was born, and my mom worn that necklace literally every day. There is not a single picture I have of my mom where she doesn’t have the necklace on.

I have some of my departed mom and grandma’s jewelry, too. So I totally understand her strong feelings.

So naturally, I started to think of it as my mom’s necklace and not necessarily my grandma’s.

When mom died, I received the necklace. My grandma didn’t specifically hand it to me, probably because I was 8 years old and it was a really nice necklace, but she left it with my mom’s other jewelry which was designated to be mine.

I started wearing the necklace all the time once I got a little older, and I rarely, if ever, am seen without it. Grandma never objected to this when she was alive.

But unfortunately, it’s complicated. However, I don’t mind sharing my jewelry!

Now that my grandmother has passed and my mom’s family has started to handle the distribution of all her things, they’ve started talking about her jewelry.

Grandma wanted all of her granddaughters to share her jewelry and my uncle feels that this extends to my mom’s necklace. He wants his daughter to be able to wear it too.

I said I didn’t feel comfortable because it feels like it’s my mom’s necklace and not grandma’s, and I don’t want to let her wear it/ risk losing it.

You wouldn’t have had to debate me on this. It was her grandma’s wishes!

He said it’s not my mom’s; I can’t monopolize the necklace and I’ve been able to wear it for 11 years so it’s only fair I give someone else a turn.

I’m still refusing and now people are picking sides and I feel bad.

I want to know if I’m being an AH. I feel like everyone else I could ask is just too connected to the situation to give me an unbiased answer.

Here is what folks are saying.

I’d bet any money that her uncle has never worn jewelry! Or he’s just into drama.

You’d think this was rocket science!

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Great advice. She would never get it back.

I’m not sure how else you can explain this!

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a mother who thinks it’s the school’s job to discipline her unruly child, not hers.

This would make perfect sense, but it really should have been in the will like this.

Young woman loses her mom, then grandma and the necklace that her mom gave her supposedly becomes family property.

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Author

Ashley Ashbee

Ashley Ashbee | Contributing Writer, Workplace & Culture

Ashley Ashbee is a contributing writer for TwistedSifter specializing in workplace dynamics, employee advocacy, and professional culture. Drawing on her real-world experience as a software consultant, she brings a unique, insider perspective to navigating office conflicts, toxic management, and trending professional dilemmas.

Holding a degree in Professional Writing from York University, Ashley combines her formal editorial training with her corporate background to deliver highly engaging, empathetic narratives. She excels at breaking down complex workplace dramas and translating them into stories that truly empower and validate modern workers.

Based in St. Catharines, Ontario, Ashley balances her time between the tech and publishing worlds with her love for the outdoors. When she isn’t consulting or writing, she can usually be found exploring local walking trails or experimenting with new recipes in the kitchen.

Connect with Ashley on LinkedIn and Twitter/X.