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There’s something really cute about the idea of running or working within your family’s business. If you’re the kid or grandkid of the business owner, you’ve likely been a part of that world your whole life, your childhood a kind of de facto apprenticeship for a business that you will one day inherit. So being a part of that might feel like an expected part of your lineage – and if you’re proud of what your parents or grandparents have build, you might feel like there’s nowhere else you’d rather be. And the fact that you get to spend every day earning money whilst being around the people you care about is a blessing in disguise.

But this merging of work and family can also become very complicated. Because there is inevitably going to be confusion around your roles – is your respect for your parents or grandparents going to get in the way of business? Will you do as you’re told by your parents, even if they’re not your direct line manager, leading to conflicts in the workplace? Will you talk to one another as colleagues, or as kids and their elders? It’s understandably complicated, with boundaries and communication key to success. And for the son in this story, those boundaries are not in place at all, leading to him not knowing where to stand when his mom’s behaviour became inappropriate for a professional setting.

Read on to find out why.

Advice needed for a family business employee with a family problem

I work in a family business started by my grandfather selling shoes.

I’m in my early twenties and my father runs the place.

It’s a small business and so the employees consist of myself, two others, and the manager.

While the regular employees have come and gone over the years, the manager remains an essential part of the business, as his expertise and friendliness has kept us from trouble for a long time.

Let’s see what the problem is here.

The dilemma comes from my mother, who is also the business accountant. To say we disagree is an understatement.

She is intensely strict on random aspects of the business and constantly decreases the morale of the employees when she lectures us randomly on cleanliness and order.

While she is not wrong in the importance of these, she doesn’t stop once she’s started.

She also has a certain hatred for our manager. She wants him gone.

And this mom is really overstepping here.

Now my parents fight all the time, but my mother has recently started yelling at me at work.

She yells at me for something the manager has done, like putting shoes on the side without putting it through the computer. I suspect she’s trying to manipulate me into hating our manager as well.

So my question is, as an employee, do I have any power that I can use to stop her from being so confrontational in the workplace? Talking to her is virtually impossible as she is incredibly stubborn.

I don’t have any power as her son, but as an employee, are there any rights I have that protect me from harassment?

Honestly, there are real pros and cons when it comes to working for a family business, but the blurred lines in terms of professional and personal boundaries is a real issue in some cases.

As her son, this guy realises that he doesn’t have any authority over his mom, but he also needs to protect the family business from what he sees as unnecessary pressure and unprofessional behaviour.

It’s a really tricky situation to be in.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit made of this.

This mom, who was also a boss, suggested that he find a calm time away from work to raise the issue.

While others encouraged him to present the issue in a professional way.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a brother who is upset his parents bought his recovering sister a brand-new car but wouldn’t help him out with a used one.

Meanwhile, this Redditor encouraged him to consider if this family legacy was one he really wanted to be a part of.

If this guy is passionate about his grandfather’s business and wants to run it himself one day, then it’s understandable that he’s treading carefully here. After all, his mom (as the accountant) might be working in the interests of the business. But if that was the case, she needs to be more clear about that. Otherwise, she could just be bullying and harassing the staff, which is never okay – and in terms of his grandfather’s legacy, is doing it a great injustice.

These blurring of family and professional boundaries will never not be complicated to have to deal with, and it’s one reason why many folk don’t like working with their family in a professional context. But it can work – after all, it has been that way through history – but clear boundaries are required to be built and maintained. And communication, which seems to be a clear problem here, needs to be worked on by everyone. Because if it continues this way, grandpa’s legacy will be lost.