The most common cause of death for a pregnant woman is homicide. It is the time in their lives when their partners often show their true selves – and it can be terrifying, to say the least.

OP is pregnant with her first child. Like most women, she is finding the beginning of her pregnancy both tiring and difficult to navigate due to feeling sick.

So me (26f) and my husband (28m), who I’ll call “Jake” for this story, have been together for 5 years and married for 3. We have recently started trying for a baby as we both felt like that was the next step in our life together, and 3 weeks ago I got a positive test back. We were really really happy and told our families, and now my mom and MIL want to throw a big baby shower for us, it was just super good news all around.

She usually turns off the lights before bed (that her husband leaves on), but that night she asked him to do it because she wasn’t feeling well and he was still up.

Well 2 nights ago me and Jake were getting ready for bed when he reminds me to go through the house and make sure all the lights are off.

Now he can be a little lazy at times, and it has become a nightly routine for me to make sure all the lights are off that he leaves on before we go to bed.

I wasn’t feeling very well and asked if he could just do it since he wasn’t doing anything and was literally standing by the door.

He then tells me “No, this is what is expected of you every night.”

He used this request as an excuse to lecture her on the fact that she is still expected to do all of the things (without complaint) because that’s what wives and mothers do.

I was a little hurt but I didn’t want to fight with him so I just did it.

When I came back Jake goes on this very long and unprovoked rant saying things like “Just because you are pregnant does not mean anything will change” and “You are still expected to cook, clean, and do all the chores every day because how can you be expected to be a mother if you can’t handle a little work.”

He wasn’t yelling or anything, he was talking to me quietly like a was 2 inches tall.

I was shocked because I had never heard him say anything like this.

Basically, he told her that he expects her to do all of the things and to enable him to do nothing but earn money.

The rant went on for about 30 minutes before I interjected and asked “Well what do you plan on doing to help me with all of this.”

He then got extremely defensive saying he works his rear of at his job to provide for me and what is going to be our future children. (For context I don’t work atm, my job was not paying enough to justify me going so I am a full time college student)

He ended by saying that it doesn’t matter how I feel physically or mentally, it is a mother’s job to push through, and if he helped and babied me I wouldn’t be a good mother.

She told him she wished she’d known he felt that way before she got pregnant, because she wouldn’t have married him, and now he’s crying and staying with his mommy.

I got extremely upset and started yelling and I said that “I wish I would’ve known this is how you felt before I got pregnant with your baby.”

There was a moment of silence before he started crying and he left for the night to stay at his mothers house.

He hasn’t been back yet and my MIL and SIL have called me berating me and saying I broke Jakes heart with what I said and I need to apologize immediately, and until I do he isn’t coming home. I don’t know how to feel.

So AITA for yelling at my husband after he said he isn’t helping me with anything during the pregnancy because “its a mothers job to deal with it”?

OP is wondering if she was too harsh, and I really hope Reddit is about to set her straight.

The top comment says they think OP should run and never go back.

This person wholeheartedly agrees.

It’s the most jarring statistic.

Too many people who have been there can testify to the truth.

They say OP will never get anywhere if she stays.

I hate stories like this, and how common they seem.

You always have to stay vigilant, if you’re a woman.