Weddings are at their core a meeting of two people, and their families.

But a lot of us out there lose focus on that main, anchoring fact especially in the middle of planning.

It can be a lot of pressure lining up all the vendors, designs, personnel and locations.

One couple is in the middle of that process, and one half of the couple needs a bit of a reality check.

This story of compromise, or the lack thereof, is one to pay attention to.

AITA for suggesting to my fiancee that my family gets their own room at our wedding?

I (25M) am recently engaged to my lovely fiancee (25F). We have been together for 4 years.

We have started general wedding planning. Her family is much bigger than mine and she wants more of a “party” type wedding, with lots of music and dancing.

My family is all a bit older than hers (she is the oldest sibling while I am the youngest), and they aren’t into big, loud weddings.

Here’s where a bit of the friction starts.

They would prefer something quiet and more focused on socializing, and I would too.

Well hey, sounds like the fiancee is really thinking of (very manageable) ways to make this all work.

My fiancee said we could do an extended cocktail hour and/or start the reception later so there would be more time for quiet socializing, or even start the whole wedding earlier in the day so it wouldn’t go as late.

She also suggested that we could take our wedding photos before the ceremony so that we wouldn’t have to miss cocktail hour to do them.

OP’s own suggestion is a bit uh…

Yeah, that’s not how weddings work, bro.

I suggested that instead, we find a venue with two separate rooms. That way her family could have a louder party in one, and mine could have a quiet reception in the other. It would be in the same venue so each side could still go over to the other to socialize.

My fiancee said she “actually really hates” that idea. She said she feels like that defeats the purpose of a wedding, which is supposed to symbolize the union of two people and their families.

And she’s exactly right:

She also said she doesn’t want to do that because she worries I’ll spend the entire reception with my family and that she’ll have to choose between spending the night with me but ignoring her family, or being with her family but us “basically being separate at our wedding.”

She also said she feels like the wedding we’re planning is becoming less and less ours and more mine.

She said this because she originally wanted a child-free, non-religious wedding but compromised on a church ceremony with children allowed because that is what I want.

AITA?

Let’s see if other folks had to say.

One person dropped two bombs on the subject.

And another had to point out that his fiancee is the one doing all the compromising.

This commenter isn’t liking how this marriage is setting up…

And one Redditor thinks this guy is forcing his way all over this wedding.

Your turn to offer up a concession, bro.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.