Weddings are expensive, of course, and not just for the happy couple, but often for their wedding party, too.

So it seems reasonable to bow out of some of the more expensive pre-wedding activities, right?

Well, this story from Reddit seems to suggest for one bride, the answer is no.

WIBTAH if I refused to pay for a crazy expensive bachelorette party?

So my (32F) cousin (34F) (we’ll call her Calli) is getting married early next year.

We’re pretty close, we even lived together for a few years in college.

We don’t talk every day but at least once a month and at all family events.

More than just friends, they are family. So of course the author is excited to share her special day, even if she thinks they are going a little overboard.

This is the first marriage for both her and her man.

They’re very excited and are going all out with the wedding (we live in a fairly cheap state but her wedding will still cost around $40K).

Our families don’t have a lot of money so she’s putting most of the expenses on credit cards, doing payment plans, and she even took out a small loan.

I don’t think that’s a great idea, but I’ve kept my mouth shut. After all, it’s not my wedding.

Don’t they say to never take out loans for a wedding? Regardless, Calli asks the author to be a part of her special day.

Anyway, earlier this year Calli asked if I would be her Maid of Honor along with another married friend of ours.

I was incredibly excited and of course, said yes. I knew there would be many expenses: dress, hair, makeup, shoes, bridal showers, and the bachelorette party.

So I saved my tax refund from this year to make sure I had all the costs covered and I’ve eagerly paid for everything Calli has asked for.

Now to the problem.

This is where things start to get messy.

The other Maid of Honor called me the other day and told me that Calli is wanting to go to Disneyland for her bachelorette party.

The bride wants three days in California with an AirBnB.

I kind of lost my mind over how much that would cost and I called Calli.

I tried to be as polite as possible and told her that this felt more like a vacation than a party and I couldn’t afford it.

Who wouldn’t want a bachelorette party at Disneyland? But she will have to understand that it might be cost prohibitive for some people, right?

She burst into tears and told me that she has paid for super expensive bachelorette parties for some of her other friends and she deserves to have the same thing. She even suggested I get a credit card.

I wasn’t sure what to say to that, so I told her I’d do some budgeting and figure it out.

Probably just should have ripped the bandaid off there, as the author realizes it’s just not feasible for her to attend.

But the thing is, I simply cannot afford that.

I don’t have any credit cards, and the few loans I have, I’ve been working really hard on paying off.

I’m very conscious of my spending as my parents were never great with their money.

They have filed for bankruptcy several times, had vehicles repossessed and we were evicted once when I was a kid.

I refuse to end up like them, and am very uncomfortable with the idea of getting a credit card to essentially pay to take Calli on a pre-wedding vacation.

I feel like an awful person, but I simply cannot afford this.

I know this will upset her and she will be very angry and will probably cry.

WIBTAH if I didn’t go to the bachelorette party and also don’t offer to pay my portion?

Or should I suck it up and just take out a loan?

What do you think about this one? Let’s turn to Reddit to get their thoughts.

Top comment says not only is Callie’s request insane, but it’s out of line to even ask someone to spend that much money.

Another comment goes so far as to basically write the rejection text for the author.

It’s nonsense that people even consider spending this kind of money or asking others to do so for their big day.

This comment says the large debt could certainly cause future marital issues for the couple.

The entitlement is ridiculous, says this commenter, and there are so many easier and less expensive ways to make her feel special.

Friends should never do this to each other.

Keep that money safe, fam!

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.