Not everyone appreciates surprise guests, especially during a holiday they’re expected to host.

So, what would you do if you planned to spend Thanksgiving with just your immediate family and found out, yet again, that extra family members had been invited without your input?

Would you just go along with it to keep the peace?

Or would you cancel the dinner entirely to avoid the chaos?

In the following story, one single mom faces this very choice, and her decision doesn’t sit well with her mother. Here’s how it all went down.

AITA for canceling Thanksgiving dinner without telling my family first?

So I (30s F) am a single mom, and I currently live with my kids and my mom, who is also single. I always cook holiday dinners, as my mother can’t cook them.

This would have been our 3rd Thanksgiving dinner. The issue isn’t her lack of cooking.

The issue is that she invites guests without telling me until the last minute.

And she doesn’t actually ask because she will have already invited them and will tell me by posing it as a question.

“Oh, by the way, I invited your (insert random family member) to come for dinner. Is it ok?”

Like, lady, you already told them, so of course, if I say no, it starts drama.

She knows I dislike her family because they are all drama, including her, since she entertains it.

So this year I have decided to not cook Thanksgiving dinner.

She asked me the other day what was on the menu for this year, and I told her nothing and my reason why.

The mother was not happy to find out there would be no family dinner this year.

She loudly said wow and then tried to guilt trip me by reminding me this would be our last year living together. She is retiring and bought a house back in her home country.

I told her she will live 30 minutes away, driving distance, so she could chill on the dramatics, and my kids and I would not be made to feel uncomfortable in our own house.

She tried to deny we were uncomfortable until I reminded her we spent the entire time in my room watching movies until they all left.

I didn’t feel bad at the time, but a co-worker of mine said maybe I should have spoken to her about it instead of finding out how she did.

AITA?

Yikes. It’s easy to see both sides of this, but she should really ask before inviting people over.

Let’s see what the folks over at Reddit had to say about it.

This is a great point.

Here’s more great advice.

As this person points out, the mother wouldn’t have been happier with advanced knowledge.

Very true.

Hosting a holiday dinner is a lot of work. So, if the daughter doesn’t want to take it on, she definitely shouldn’t have to.

If you liked that post, check out this one about an employee that got revenge on HR when they refused to reimburse his travel.