January 17, 2025 at 1:35 pm

Her Husband Refuses To Shower Before Bed And This New Mom Thinks It’s Disgusting. So This New Mom Asks Him To Sleep In Their Guest Room Because She’s Worried About Germs And Their Baby’s Safety.

by Heather Hall

Source: Reddit/AITA/Pexels/Quang Nguyen Vinh

For some parents, maintaining a clean and comfortable living space can feel even more important when there’s a newborn in the house.

But what happens when one partner’s hygiene habits don’t match the other’s expectations?

Is it unreasonable to ask them to take extra showers?

Or is it simply a matter of setting strict boundaries?

In the following story, one new mom struggles with this exact predicament and wonders if she is treating her husband too harshly.

Here’s what’s going on.

AITA for telling my husband I find him disgusting and I want us to sleep in separate beds

My husband (43M) and I (31F) welcomed our second child four months ago.

With a new baby, I’m extra cautious about germs and cleaning.

This got me thinking about my husband’s shower routine.

He will take a shower in the morning and go off to work.

(he’s a chemist, so it’s mostly a desk job, but sometimes he walks outside from one building to the next. They are less than a block away).

We live in humid, hot Florida, so that adds to the equation some inevitable perspiration.

He’s also a manager, so he deals with people all day long.

I have tried to bring up the subject of him taking a quick shower when he gets home from work or even just before bed.

He says that he does not need to take another shower since he showered in the morning.

Frustrated, she can’t understand his way of thinking.

I try to explain that I don’t feel comfortable with him laying in the bed because I lay our baby there sometimes.

I feel like the bedsheets are dirty by him laying on them, same with our comforter.

(note: baby sleeps in a bassinet safely next to me but during the day I will lay him in the bed while I do chores around him like folding laundry, etc.).

I realize everybody has their own routines, but I have washed my hair in the morning, showered, and gone through the day.

At the end of it, I’m feeling dirty, grimy, and in NEED of a shower before bed.

How can he be okay with going through the whole day and not feeling like he should shower?

I finally told him I’m not comfortable with him laying in bed dirty, so he should sleep in the guest room.

I have OCPD so it’s really hard for me to not have things be the way I feel they should be in my mind.

AITA?

Wow! It’s easy to see both sides, but she is being a little unreasonable.

Let’s check out what advice the readers over at Reddit have to offer her.

This is an excellent point.

Source: Reddit/AITA

It’s actually common for kids to get sick a lot after starting school.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Here’s someone who thinks she’s being over the top.

Source: Reddit/AITA

According to this person, she’s overreacting.

Source: Reddit/AITA

She needs to have a serious talk with him.

Maybe if she explains her viewpoint, he’ll understand where she’s coming from.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.