Sometimes doing the “right thing” still leaves you feeling like you messed everything up.

So, what would you do if your ex kept stepping into your life to help, even though you never asked, but his new girlfriend was upset and asked you to set boundaries?

Would you push back at her? Or would you do exactly what she wants?

In the following story, one woman faces this exact decision and opts for the latter.

Here’s what happened next.

AITA for asking my ex to stop doing so much for me?

I (20) dated “Evan” (20) for about two years. We broke up around six months ago. It wasn’t messy, honestly. We just realized we weren’t compatible romantically.

We agreed to stay friends, and for the most part, we’ve been pretty good at that.

Here’s where it gets complicated. Evan has always been a “helper” type. When we were dating, he’d fix things at my apartment, drive me to appointments, carry heavy stuff, etc.

After the breakup, he kept doing these things.

He always stepped up when needed.

At first, it was comforting, like, “Oh, we’re mature exes who can still rely on each other.”

But recently, it’s been a lot.

He’ll show up at my place with groceries because he “was already at the store.” He’ll text me that he’s in my neighborhood and “can take care of that squeaky door hinge.”

When my car battery died, he came over at 11 PM to jump it even though I told him AAA was already on the way. I didn’t ask him to stop because he seemed genuinely happy to help, and I didn’t want to assume weird intentions.

When she confronted him, he was hurt.

But last week, his new girlfriend messaged me. Very politely. She asked if I could “establish some clearer boundaries” with Evan because she’s uncomfortable with how involved he still is in my life.

She said it feels like she’s competing with a ghost of our past relationship. I apologized and said I’d talk to him.

When I did, he got really upset. He said he knows the breakup was his fault (it honestly wasn’t, we just drifted) and helping me is “the least he can do.”

He also said I’m one of the only people he feels genuinely needed by. That part made me feel awful. I told him I appreciated everything he’s done, but I don’t want to be the reason his new relationship struggles.

Now, he’s not speaking to her.

I said maybe he should focus on his girlfriend more and not worry about fixing every problem I have. He got quiet and said, “So you don’t want me in your life at all?”

I said, “No, that’s not what I meant. We can still be friends, just not whatever this is.”

Since then, he’s been distant and cold. Mutual friends think I blindsided him and that if his girlfriend has issues, that’s “her insecurity, not my problem.”

Others say it is inappropriate for an ex to be still doing boyfriend-level things. Now I’m wondering if I overstepped. I didn’t want to hurt him, and I definitely didn’t want to get involved in his new relationship. I just feel like there’s no version of this where this ends well.

AITA?

Eek! It sounds like there’s more to this for him.

Let’s see how the folks over at Reddit feel about his behavior.

This reader thinks she should’ve done it long ago.

Yet another person who thinks it was long overdue.

For this person, it’s about not sharing info with him.

Interesting thought.

She needs to move on.

That relationship has been over, and now it’s time to let it go for good.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.