Finding out you’re pregnant can be the greatest blessing of all.

And for a couple who want to have a baby, this moment can be a real source of joy to be spread amongst the entire family.

Even if that baby is a surprise.

That was exactly the case for the couple in this story, who found out they were pregnant as a result of an unrelated appointment.

But announcing that pregnancy to their families was where all the drama started.

Read on to find out what happened.

AITA for not allowing my fiancé’s family dictate my baby’s life before it’s even born?

My fiancé (26, male) and I (27, female) have been engaged since the 16th of December 2025.

Being of African culture, he made his way to my home to negotiate “lobola” (bride price), and all went well.

I’ve met my soon-to-be sister-in-law way before we got engaged. She was kind, welcoming and seemed to be loving.

Fast forward to the 30th of December 2025, I fly back to Gauteng from Eastern Cape to be with my fiancé.

Let’s see how things worked out on this trip.

The next day we get an invite from my fiancé’s mom for a New Years day lunch on the 1st of Jan and we accept.

That same day, my fiancé took me to the hospital because I had a bad case of the flu and he didn’t like that I wasn’t getting much better.

During that doctor’s consultation, we find out that we’re five months pregnant.

I guess I’m one of the lucky ones who didn’t get any morning sickness or grow much of a stomach.

Read on to find out how his family reacted to the news.

On the day of the lunch, we break the news to his mom and sister, and they’re so excited and happy for us – and they mentioned a few “traditional” things, like the mom giving the baby its first name.

My fiancé shut that conversation down and told them that it’s up to him and I what we name the baby, and we won’t be doing that.

Later, I was helping his sister prepare the food in the kitchen and she mentioned a baby shower and/or gender reveal for us.

I told her that my sisters and friends might throw me one after I break the news to them, and she said that’s so great and that I’m lucky to have them to do that for me – she also mentioned me getting her in contact with whoever will be planning it once I know, so that she can be apart of it.

I told her no problem, and we ended that conversation.

But things weren’t going as smoothly as they seemed.

Fast forward to two days ago: my fiancé and I go for an anatomy scan to find out the gender of the baby, and also find that everything is still going well with the pregnancy.

The doctor writes down the gender in an envelope and closes it up for us, and we decide to take the envelope to my eldest sister for safekeeping.

We both share how the appointment went with our families – mine takes it well, they don’t question anything. His side of the family however, go off…

His sister tells him that she feels like we shouldn’t have given the envelope to my sister, and that she’s the aunt of the child (dad’s side specifically) and that she feels like we’re excluding her from OUR child.

And things kept getting worse from there.

She ropes in their mom and now even his mom is going off on him, telling him that she should be the one to have been given the envelope and she would be the one to tell us the gender of the baby.

She said also to remember that I’m marrying into their family – and that since I’m apart of their family now, I can’t decide on stuff like this and have them go along with it, without discussing it with them first.

Right now, as I’m writing this post, his mom has since blocked him and told him that she’d be withdrawing herself from his life, and that he can do what makes him happy.

His sister is riding that train like crazy, telling him that it’s always been them three together.

AITA?

Cultural norms are, of course, important – but what happens with celebrating the baby is always the choice of the parents.

Baby showers, gender reveals, naming the baby? It’s the parents’ choice.

If they want to follow cultural traditions great; if not? That’s their decision, no one else’s.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit made of this.

This person thought that her in-laws were being ridiculous.

While others thought it was imperative that her fiancé stayed strong on backing her up.

Meanwhile, this Redditor encouraged her to stay out of his family drama.

It’s clear that his mom and sister are excited about the prospect of the new baby.

But it’s important that they understand that she has friends, family, and cultural traditions of her own too.

With a little mutual respect, this happy occasion can be allowed to be just that.

Good luck to them.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.