It’s hard to celebrate someone’s happiness when you feel like it came at your own expense.

So, what would you do if one of your parents left your family for someone they’ve always “missed,” and then told you that refusing a relationship was punishing them for being happy?

Would you try to see it their way? Or would you stand firm and let them know that they don’t deserve your approval?

In the following story, a young adult son is confronted by his father over this very situation.

Here’s what happened.

AITAH for asking my dad why I should reward his cheating and breaking up our family when he told me I shouldn’t punish him for being happy?

A couple of years ago, my dad told my mom he wanted a divorce and went to be with his high school crush.

It was a total surprise to mom, me (19m), and my siblings (15f, 13f, and 10m).

Dad said he never cheated, but when he reconnected with this woman, all the feelings he had before came back, and he wanted his chance with her since she was the one he missed out on back then. He even admitted he never got over her and always knew he’d leave if he got his chance with her.

He’s only seen his dad one time in the last two years.

I’ve wanted nothing to do with him since, and my siblings feel similarly, only they have no choice since he has equal custody as mom. They make life awful for him and for his girlfriend, though, and all three hope he stops making them socialize with them soon.

Since he left Mom, he has tried with me, too. He invited me to family dinners and tried to set up a time for me to meet his girlfriend and for us to figure out a way forward. The only time I responded was to that last part, and I told him the only way forward was no contact.

The only time I’ve seen Dad in the last two years was at Mom’s house for my brother’s 10th birthday.

According to his father, it had nothing to do with him.

He got there early so he could talk to me. He told me he thought it was time I stopped punishing him, and that I shouldn’t punish him in the first place when he did something to make him happy, but it had no impact on him.

I asked him how he figured that when he broke up our family and cheated. I said it was still emotional cheating when he was ready to leave Mom if that woman snapped her fingers.

My dad emphasized the fact that he never cheated, and he told me it had nothing to do with me anyway. I told him it has everything to do with me when it changed my family and interrupted my life.

Frustrated, he had to walk away.

I asked him why I should reward those things and why I’d want his kind of influence in my life. I told him I didn’t give a **** about his happiness or that woman he’s with, and he was out of luck if he thinks he will ever get my seal of approval or get me to spend time with him and her.

Dad said my mindset was all wrong, and that we having a relationship doesn’t reward him. He thinks it’s good for me, and it could add another woman in my life who would be supportive and compassionate when I need it. He said it’s what my siblings and I miss out on by rejecting his girlfriend and future wife.

He also called me an ******* for framing things in the worst possible light and for even thinking about this as rewarding vs not. I had to walk away because he was ready to keep that going, and I didn’t want it to spill into my brother’s party.

AITA?

Yikes! It’s easy to see where his dad is coming from, but slow steps may be better.

Let’s see how the folks over at Reddit feel about what happened between him and his father.

According to this comment, the dad made bad choices.

Here’s someone who feels sorry for the mother.

Harsh, but so true.

This is such a good point.

His kids should not feel bad.

If he didn’t care about their feelings, they shouldn’t care about his.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.