When your sister is getting married, you want to be involved and help to celebrate the big day. For many people, that means being the Maid of Honor and throwing the sister a bachelorette party.

What would you do if you were planning a bachelorette party, but your sister kept demanding that you do more and more for the party to the point where it was well outside your budget?

That is what happened to the Maid of Honor in this story, so she tried to tell her sister that she had to stick to a set budget, but her sister just told her to save more money to make sure everything was perfect.

While she feels bad that she can’t give her sister exactly what she wants, this young lady says that there is no way she can afford to throw such an expensive party.

Read through the full details below and see what you think of this difficult scenario.

MOH to sister: I set a bachelorette budget and was told to “just start saving”

My initial text:

“Hey, I want you to have an amazing bachelorette, but I need to be upfront about my budget so we’re all on the same page. With flights and everything else we’ll be doing, I can realistically spend $400–$450 max per person on the Airbnb.

I’m totally open to a pool or hot tub if it fits within that range, like the place you saved with the pool would actually be perfect at about $393 per person. I just can’t swing $600+ per person on housing when we’ll be out most of the time and already spending a lot on activities.

She is being very responsible and respectful.

I don’t want this to become stressful or uncomfortable for me or anyone else financially, so I wanted to be clear before anything is booked.”

Her response:

“I’ll try to be respectful of your budget but also think it may be more than $450 because of all the minor fees. We are going during a holiday so that alone is more money than most weekends.

Well, she set her budget. If this person wants to spend more, she needs to put up the money.

I think moving forward just understand that where we are going is an expensive place already. California is not cheap. Realistically, drinks and food will be more than what you expect. Truly it’s awkward to even say this but I’m really not supposed to be paying for anything during that weekend.

I know money is tight for some people. Just start budgeting and saving. I also have a wedding and living expenses to pay for. So, I get it but it’s also a once in a lifetime trip.”

The bride has a lot of nerve demanding that her sister pay for so much.

I’m the maid of honor, the bride is my older sister. There will be 6 of us going to California over Memorial Day weekend (4 days/3 nights).

We never discussed budgets upfront, and to my knowledge she hasn’t discussed budgets with the other bridesmaids either (I know this is partly on me). I also don’t have their numbers, and this is my first time being in a bridal party, so I genuinely didn’t know what was typical.

No bride should just expect people to pay so much just for their big day.

I was under the impression that she would pay for her flight and her portion of the Airbnb, and the rest of us would cover our own portions plus food/drink/activities for her.

This assumption was partly because she has been very particular about the Airbnb “vibe.” Based on her math, she is not including herself in the split, which I now realize I shouldn’t have assumed.

The bride should get what she wants, but she should also pay for it.

She planned most of the bachelorette herself. I tried helping with planning locations, restaurants, and activities, but most of my suggestions were changed because they weren’t the right vibe or she found something better. She also has a matron of honor who has been helping look at Airbnbs.

She has been a bridesmaid for at least two of the girls who are now in her bridal party, so I don’t know if she paid a lot for their bachelorettes and now expects the same in return. Regardless, this is far more than I expected.

It is not fair that her sister is putting all this stress on her.

I’m not financially well off and she knows this. I live carefully within my means and I have been budgeting, but there is only so much I can save.

The financial stress has been making me anxious, and her response felt dismissive given that she planned most of the trip and set the costs.

She really just needs to set firm boundaries. It will be hard, but that is the only way through this.

At this point I feel stuck because she’s my sister.

If I say I can’t afford the trip, I’m worried she’ll be angry or even remove me from the bridal party (she also left me on read for two days after I sent my original message).

If I go, I’ll be spending money I truly don’t have and I’m already feeling resentment build.

I know I should have spoken up sooner, but I didn’t.

This is definitely a very difficult situation because they are close family. She really doesn’t want to miss the wedding, but it is also entirely unreasonable for her sister to expect her to break the budget just to do all these fancy things.

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Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about this story and how she should respond.

This person has it exactly right. It is a big day for her sister, not for everyone else.

She can’t be spending all her money on a party for her sister.

I have a feeling her sister wouldn’t be happy with this.

A simple night out on the town should be more than enough.

These parties can be fun, but they cost so much money.

It really isn’t fair for the bride to ask people to spend so much time and money on their bachelorette party. Sure, it will be fun, and it is an important day, but things can get out of hand very quickly.

This is a big event for the bride and groom, not for the whole world. Expecting people to break their budget for your bachelorette party is very selfish and completely out of line. The woman in this story would be smart to lay out some clear boundaries and leave it to her sister to decide if she is still invited.

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