Organ donation is one of the most difficult medical decisions a person can make, and when the recipient is family, it makes it even more personal.

One college student who was asked to get tested for kidney compatibility with his stepdad came back as a match and immediately asked his mom to keep it quiet for a few days while he figured out what he wanted to do.

But instead of respecting his wishes, she told everyone the next day. That’s when the intense pressure campaign started ramping up.

Finally he said no, and his stepdad understood. But the rest of the family did not.

Read on — this one has a lot of layers.

AITAH for refusing to donate a kidney to my stepdad that raised me and paid for my college?

So my stepdad (56M) has severe kidney failure and is looking for a transplant.

His immediate family isn’t compatible, so my mom told me (27M) to get myself tested.

He wasn’t sure about the idea for a while.

I’m a bit wary of the risks of a kidney transplant, so I was hoping the whole time that I wouldn’t be compatible.

The results came back and it turns out I was.

Even though I’m afraid of the transplant, I was considering it for a while, as my stepdad is a great guy.

Her stepdad has done a lot for him.

He joined our family while I was in high school and took me in like his own.

When he married my mom, he told me that he’d take care of my tuition and other living costs.

I told my mom the results, but specifically asked her to keep it quiet for a few days so I could have some time to process it.

At the same time, I was also hoping another donor would come in to help out.

But when he gave his final decision, not everyone was understanding.

The very next day, the whole family was texting me and giving me their thanks already.

I didn’t want to cave in to the pressure, so I told them I wouldn’t be doing it.

My stepdad was incredibly graceful and just said that he understands.

The problem is my mom and other family members went absolutely ballistic.

They called me all sorts of names and said that if it weren’t for my stepdad, we would’ve been out on the streets.

He knows his stepdad has sacrificed a lot, but he just isn’t sure he’s ready to sacrifice this much in return.

I do think she’s right regarding that, but at the same time I’m just not ready to go through the whole operation.

It also left a bad taste in my mouth — I feel like they just expect me to do it, as if it’s the easiest thing in the world.

Meanwhile, they don’t have that same pressure put on them since they’re all incompatible.

Anyway, I might still go back on my decision as I do have time, but right now I’m just not sure.

AITA?

This sounds like an enormous decision for anyone to make.

If you enjoyed this post, check out this story about a sister who canceled a family dinner after realizing she’d been the only one putting in effort for years.

What did Reddit have to say?

Turns out, the rest of the family isn’t off the hook yet.

This type of decision really isn’t one that should be made under pressure.

In fact, being coerced can disqualify you in some places.

This situation says a lot about his stepdad’s character.

The mom had one job — buy him a few days, but she only lasted twenty-four hours.

Whatever decision he lands on, it’s going to be made in the shadow of a family that pre-celebrated before he said yes and turned on him when he said not yet.

His stepdad, arguably the person with the most skin in the game here, understood, but the rest couldn’t? That really says something.

Some decisions just shouldn’t be rushed — and organ donation is most definitely one of them.