Best Friends Drift Apart After One Moves Away, Leading to a Difficult Social Media Decision

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It is not uncommon for friendships to change or even fade away over time as you grow up. That is especially true when someone moves away.
What would you do if you had to move to another country and then your best friend slowly stopped replying to your messages and never put any effort into maintaining the friendship?
That is what happened to the young woman in this story, and she was devastated that her best friend didn’t seem to actually care about her. Eventually, she decided to block her and move on with her life, but her family is saying that she is being extreme.
It is a difficult situation to be sure. Take a moment to read through the story below and see what you think.
AITAH for ghosting my high school best friend and refusing to talk to her ?
In 2014, I became best friends with a girl who just joined school.
Great friends are invaluable.
We were very close , shared everything, hanged out often , and do things that girl best friends do.
Fast forward to 2018, we graduated high school and I wasn’t sure if I’m going to be in this country or going back to my home country since we were struggling a lot financially and it wasn’t possible for my parents to support me and my siblings at the same time.
I’m sure this was a very difficult time for both of them.
We reside in UAE along with family and study here , and home country is in east Asia. She’s also from the same county so maybe that’s why we got close really fast.
She continued her secondary levels in the same school , and I was unsure if I’m going to be continuing or leaving for good and I told her that we might leave anytime.
It seems her friend is only there in person.
At that time (2019) we used to text in Facebook because I never created an Instagram account. After the school reopened and classes started , she was responding very less , so I even created an Instagram account to talk to her because I know she’s always active there
Even after that , she wasn’t very active in talking to me even though she was online. I gave her the benefit of the doubt that she has school and she’s busy knowing she’s always active there.
At least they got close again this way, but only for a while.
3 weeks after the school reopened, My mom argued with my dad and made me get admission in school and continue studies because I’m still young I can’t be dropping out. I’m really glad she did because I was really sad at that time and staying at home would be worse for me.
I joined school, we are in Same class and then she talked a lil bit more with me. After we finish grade 12 in 2019, she stayed for grade 13 and my parents couldn’t support me anymore so I didn’t join school.
Sometimes friendships just run their course.
At this time I became very depressed because she completely stopped talking to me and was very very dry. It took a big toll on me I disappeared from Instagram and went back to Facebook.
And the messages were obviously more dry , but at least this time I can justify saying she doesn’t use Facebook much, even though I know she’s always in her phone.
It is clear that her friend isn’t putting any effort into this friendship.
It got to the point where she used to reply after days. I left Facebook and switch to Snapchat, since no one uses Snapchat and I can justify the reason for late replies knowing when you type in Snapchat, you get a notification that the person is typing.
And days reply turned into weeks. The messages would disappear and we would forget what we were talking about. I just used to cry and have swollen eyes.
This is sad, she is just using her.
Then she messaged me on Snapchat, her exams soon (in 2020 during COVID. They had online exams) she gave me her ID to access the papers and find answer for her and share her.
I’m glad to be of any help if that means I can talk to her more often. I came back to Facebook and shared her answers. She didn’t reply to me until after 5 hours later and I could see that she already submitted her paper.
I would cut her off at this point.
It really hurt because I felt used. Mind you, I didn’t even help my brother when he asked for help but I woke up early to help her
Exams over , I went back to Snapchat only. After her A levels , she has plans to go to UK. I always asked her about her visa and she said not yet applied and all.
It is sad, but she just doesn’t consider her a close friend.
After few months I went to hangout at her home once around after COVID lockdown was lifted. And I asked her about visa again , and she said she had already gotten it 2 weeks ago. And had never informed me. Didn’t care to share to me.
I can see why she is so upset.
She changed her course from MBBS to architecture and never told me about it either …
She had an online graduation on a zoom call and never told me (I found out from a mutual’s Snapchat story) . And I wished her “congratulations on graduating” and she said she was about to tell me.
Honestly, this person does seem to be a little too attached to her friend.
I always chased her and gave so much energy and effort towards her, for her , but I never got the same in return. Forward a few months later , it actually was the night before my bday, and she was responding surprisingly in Snapchat, and I get hit with “oh and I’m leaving tonight for UK” .
I was stunned, shocked, I just froze and tears started rolling down my eyes . I couldn’t believe it. She booked her ticket and everything and never cared to inform me about it. I wasn’t mentally prepared for her to leave yet. I wished her goodbye and best of luck.
Friends do drift apart as they grow up, as hard as that can be.
Now she’s in UK, and I thought maybe , just maybe it will become better. Maybe she’ll respond more , talk to me more. But nope, she made new friends , roommates, completely forgot me which I understand. But she always replies with “I forgot I didn’t reply , I didn’t see the message, etc”
I gave up , I switched to mailing her because it was hurting me so much. And I knew no one opens email for texting , but also I know she opens mail often for assignments and college work.
Why does she continue to put any effort into this friendship at all?
Weeks reply turned into months. And it was just me initiating and her responding with few words. It was so dry I couldn’t take it
It went on for a year like that with dry texts. She mailed me during Eid , saying she came back to UAE, stayed here for a month , and it’s been a month since she went to home country and she was so busy.
She is putting an end to the relationship once and for all.
And I was just flabbergasted but not surprised. I mean, she has been doing that. No reply from literally months , and that’s what I get to hear?
I wished her good day and blocked her on email. Seeing those mails hurt. I never opened spam to check if she emailed because what’s the point anymore. I had already deactivated Instagram and Facebook years ago already. So there’s no other way of contacting me.
At least she wanted to say happy birthday.
She messaged my sister on Instagram few days after my bday that same year, and asked where I am because she wished me on my bday but I never responded.
Sister said she’ll ask me to contact. But why would I do that? After everything I have been through, no one sees that, they don’t understand because they haven’t been in my position.
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Granted, her sister shouldn’t give out her number.
It’s been almost 6 years since then , she recently messaged sister again and my sister without my consent shared my number to her…it made me so mad.
They think I’m being dramatic to cut her off and moving on. I’m the out of line here and I’m getting attitude from my whole family for it.
Honestly, I do think this girl is being kind of dramatic.
And “she still cares about me and worried where I am”. She called me her best friend but never acted like it. She knows she’s the only one I have and put me through this.
I understand she must be busy that’s why no response, but how busy does someone have to be to not reply to your “best friend” for months or even update her on your life.
I can totally see why she was hurt. It is always hard when a friendship ends or even changes. Blocking her and still dwelling it years later, however, does seem excessive.
If you enjoyed this post, check out this story about a sister who canceled a family dinner after realizing she’d been the only one putting in effort for years.
Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about it.
They haven’t been real friends in years.

Yeah, she is letting this drag on way too long.

I do agree with this commenter.

This person thinks her friend just wants something.

Her friend wasn’t putting any effort into the relationship.

When someone is refusing to put any effort into a friendship, it is best to just move on. This young woman has already tried way too hard to maintain a friendship that has run its course.
It is time to just let the friendship fade away. Her family doesn’t have to like it, but hopefully they will respect it.

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