Relationships work best when responsibilities are shared fairly, not assumed.

This man works a hybrid schedule, spending some days working from home and other days commuting an hour to the office. Because of their different routines, he often wakes up earlier than his wife and makes their coffee. However, their morning dynamic changes on the days he works from home. Suddenly, his wife expects that her coffee should always be prepared when she wakes up.

Do you think it’s a fair demand? Read the full narrative below. It’s an interesting story that talks about a common relationship conflict where two people have different views of what support and teamwork should look like in a marriage.

AITA For not getting up to make coffee for my wife?

I work from home three days a week and commute an hour to my office the other two days.

My start time is 7:30 a.m., regardless of location.

My wife is a teacher and has to be to school by 7:30 a.m. five days per week. She has summers off.

This man often wakes up early, takes care of the dog, and makes coffee for himself and his wife.

When I have my commute, it is necessary for me to get out of bed and start getting ready before she gets up.

Because I’m ready before her, I take care of the dog and make coffee for her and myself.

We use a single serve coffee maker because we like different coffee.

When I work from home, she gets ready and goes downstairs before my alarm goes off. She takes the dog out and makes herself coffee.

I have never had coffee waiting for me when I get downstairs. I don’t complain about it and just make my coffee while our daughter gets ready for school.

His wife gets annoyed if she wakes up without her coffee.

On my commute days, I actually leave the house before my telework day alarm would go off.

There are some days I wake up naturally and will have time to help her with the dog and make her coffee.

My wife thinks I should get up everyday and help her with the dog and make her coffee before she goes to work.

She actually gets annoyed when I am still in bed when she comes out of the bathroom after her shower.

AITA for not waking up and making coffee for her when I don’t have to be up as early?

It sounds like both spouses are contributing based on who is awake first, rather than intentionally avoiding responsibilities. Expecting someone to wake up earlier than necessary every day just to maintain the same routine may not be realistic. Relationships tend to work better when both partners appreciate what the other already does instead of focusing on what they think is missing. Don’t you agree?

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a waitress who refused to return a tip after a party returned to the restaurant with a complaint.

Let’s check out the comments of other Reddit users on this story.

Here’s a fair suggestion.

This one has a few questions.

This person shares an honest opinion.

Another one chimes in.

And lastly, here’s another solution.

Marriage is a two-way street, including who makes the morning coffee.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about an employee who rejects a low contract offer and leaves the company instead.