Moving away from your friends and family can be hard, but it can also be a great opportunity to do exciting things in life.

What would you do if you had moved to a different country two years ago, and since that time, your friend from home has constantly said that she wants to visit? She even made plans to come on three occasions, but backed out each time for various reasons.

That is what is happening to the young woman in this story, and now that her friend has gone on a different trip, she is hurt that she is not a priority, and she is thinking about confronting her about it. Of course, she is worried that this will only make things worse, though.

Personally, I think that if she approaches the confrontation in the right way, it could be healthy, but she needs to avoid getting angry and turning it into a fight. Read through the full story below and see what you think.

WIBTA for calling out my friend for not following through?

I (28f) have been best mates with my friend (30f) for around 4-5 years now.

Having friends visit from abroad is great.

I moved to a different country about 2 years ago, but it’s only around an hour’s flight from where we lived previously, so everything is very accessible and it’s easy to travel to.

My best mate has been saying since the moment I moved in how much she wants to visit me and even had me block out (on three occasions), dates in my calendar for when she was coming.

Traveling can be very expensive.

Each time it came close to her arrival date, she would pull out saying that she couldn’t afford the trip, which I completely understood.

Obviously I was a little annoyed given that I wanted to see her and had cancelled plans/taken time off work, but I understand it’s a super difficult and expensive time right now for everyone.

Wow, this is very generous of her.

Her accommodation would be free as she would be staying with me and I even offered to pay for her flight (it’s around $50-70 return flight and sometimes even cheaper!) and she also wouldn’t need to take time off work as it could just be for a weekend visit.

On the third time of her cancellation, I was really quite sad but didn’t want to say anything because I know money is difficult and she had a lot on.

She has the money; she just doesn’t want to visit.

However, I’ve just found out that she’s now heading off on a 2 week long trip with another mate half way around the world – it’s about a 3-4 hour flight and they’ve got a packed itinerary, including concert tickets for The Weeknd, so I think the whole 2 weeks would probably cost her well over $500.

I know it’s her money (and it is defo her paying as I did check!) and she can absolutely do whatever she likes with it (I’d never suggest otherwise), so would I be wrong if I told her I’m a little upset about this?

I can see why this would be upsetting.

Her financial situation hasn’t changed and they’ve just decided and booked it all in the last 2 weeks (I know cause she sent me the ticket confirmation).

I know it’s her money and her time and she should be able to do whatever she likes with it, it just feels weird that she told me she hasn’t been able to afford a $50 return flight for months and then can splash all this cash elsewhere.

Her friend just has other priorities, which can be painful to hear.

I’ve also flown back loads to our hometown (just to say that it’s not a one sided thing!)

I’ve also checked to see if there’s something that I have maybe done to stop her from coming over but she’s told me there’s absolutely nothing and she wants to prioritise me and misses me loads but just hasn’t been able to afford it.

Her being emotional about this makes perfect sense.

Am scratching my head a little bit as to what to do here gang, so any advice/thoughts would be super appreciated!

I’m probably being over emotional and too sensitive but just not sure what to do and I’m annoyed that I have to keep cancelling and moving my schedule around (and getting my hopes up!)

WIBTA?

As long as she approaches this in the right way and doesn’t make her friend feel attacked, I think she would be right to confront her about it. Especially since she keeps having to take time off from work and adjust her routine only to have the plans canceled.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who stirred up family drama by finally choosing her own mom over her in-laws.

Read on to see what the people in the comments have to say about this story.

Yup, this is a great approach.

She is not a priority to her friend.

She really should have the conversation. It might actually save the friendship.

It is time to let the friendship fade away, according to this commenter.

Her friend is wasting her time too, and that is not right.

Her friend is not just hurting her emotionally, but she is also wasting her time. There is certainly nothing wrong with confronting her about this. She just needs to be careful to do it in a way that won’t make things worse.

Approaching it with kindness could actually help to solve the problem. If she expresses how she feels and works toward solutions, the friendship could survive. Otherwise, it may be time to let the friendship fade. Not all friendships last a lifetime.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a middle schooler who was totally frazzled after being left to babysit alone for 3-plus hours, and swears she’s never doing it again.