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There’s a big difference between “paying the family back once you’ve made it” and “funding a cruise you didn’t want to attend on an intern’s salary,” and one college student fell square into the second category.

One college student has been carrying his family’s gift-giving obligations for a while now, buying Christmas presents, covering graduation gifts his parents won’t bother with, treating everyone to meals on an intern’s wages that barely covers his own expenses.

He didn’t expect a parade for it, but he also didn’t expect to be called selfish when he declined to pay for a cruise he told his mom he didn’t want to go on.

So in blatant disregard of his wishes, his mother continued to pressure him into agreeing to the plans, but when he put his foot down about the money, it made some major waves.

Keep reading for the full story.

AITA for not wanting to pay for family vacation

I am currently 20 years old and am working my first internship.

It pays more than any other job I’ve worked, but I’m definitely still a broke college student.

Still, he’s feeling a lot of financial pressure from his parents.

I come from an Asian household, which I guess carries some sort of cultural weight where parents expect their kids to “pay back” the family once they’re financially successful.

My mom wants to go on a cruise trip this summer, which I initially did NOT want to go on (and expressed so) given our bad history of fights during family vacations.

But his family wouldn’t take no for an answer and now he finds himself in a tough spot.

I eventually felt pressured to agree because they made plans that included me with our extended family.

Tonight, my mom randomly asked if I’d like to “contribute” to the trip. I was under the impression that my ticket would’ve been paid for, so I told her that I’d rather just stay home instead of paying for a trip that I don’t want to go on.

His mom isn’t going to let him off easy, though.

She started badgering me and kept asking if I’m really not “contributing” and saying how I’m selfish and stingy, and that I was only okay with going on the trip because I thought that it was all-expenses paid by my parents.

This student thinks he already does plenty to help out.

I definitely live frugally given my circumstances, but I still treat my family out for food, buy all of the Christmas gifts, grad gifts (since my parents don’t put effort into celebrating those things for my siblings), etc.

So I thought her comments were unwarranted.

He’s not liking the way his family is making him feel.

I feel underappreciated and like a piggy bank, but I also understand where she’s coming from since it seems like I finally “made it” with a corporate job.

AITA for not wanting to pay?

This family needs stronger boundaries — and stat.

What did Reddit have to say?

This user doesn’t approve of this mother’s antics.

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This user thinks the student should let the numbers do the talking.

To this commenter, it’s simple — if he can’t afford it, he can’t go.

What the family really needs is stronger boundaries.

This college student is 20 years old, working his first internship, and already buying Christmas gifts, graduation gifts, and treating his family to meals because her parents won’t do it themselves. This doesn’t exactly read as “selfish.”

And let’s not forget, the cruise was never his idea in the first place. From the start, he had a clear mind about his own financial boundaries — it was his mother who refused to listen to him.

If his mother demands he spend money he doesn’t have to join, then she’ll just have to accept the idea of vacationing without him.

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Author

Benjamin Cottrell

Benjamin Cottrell | Assistant Editor, Internet Culture

Benjamin Cottrell is an Assistant Editor and contributing writer at TwistedSifter, specializing in internet culture, viral social dynamics, and the moral complexities of online communities. He brings a highly analytical, editorial voice to his reporting on workplace conflicts, malicious compliance, and interpersonal drama, with a specific focus on nuanced stories that lack an obvious villain.

As a published author of rhetorical criticism, Benjamin leverages his academic background in human communication to dissect and elevate viral social media threads. Instead of simply summarizing events, he provides readers with balanced, deep-dive commentary into why the internet reacts the way it does. In addition to his cultural reporting, he is an experienced fine art photography essayist and video game reviewer.

When he isn’t analyzing the latest viral debates, Benjamin is usually chipping away at his extensive video game backlog, hunting down the best new restaurants, or out exploring the city with a camera in hand.

Connect with Benjamin on Instagram and read more of his essays on Substack.