It can seem to those who choose not to practice religion – and those who do – that God can be a convenient scapegoat for those inclined to use him that way.
OP describes her husband as a very good and faithful man. They have a blended family, with her 17yo daughter being the eldest.
My husband and I have been together for 3 years. He has 3 kids from his previous relationship and I have one.
She’s the oldest (17). He’s a dedicated man, puts God first and loves everyone.
Her husband does not feel like her daughter has spent enough time bonding with his younger children, but OP acknowledges that she has a lot of other responsibilities at the moment.
My husband always complains that my daughter doesn’t spend time with her step siblings or him but she has reasons for that and that is school, health issues and work.
She does her best to spend as much time with them as she can. but she on the other hand complains that her stepdad tells her to basically take on the role of a babysitter whenever she’s with her step siblings.
My husband denied that and said that my daughter was making up excuses to not have to spend time with his kids.
In an effort to smooth this over, she booked and paid for a family vacation – even though her husband tried to convince her to leave her daughter at home alone because “that’s what she wants.”
For this issue, I figured that a family trip is what the family need to get together and spend more time around each others.
My husband liked the idea but said that his kids are now “uncomfortable” around my daughter because of her “attitude” and suggested we let her stay home and have the house all to herself since that’s “what she always wanted”. I told him it’s best that we all go.
She told him to knock it off, but when they couldn’t find her daughter’s passport anywhere, he told her it was probably a sign from God that she should stay home.
He kept complaining til I snapped and told him to stop.
I booked (paid) for the whole family. However, my daughter told me she couldn’t find her passport. We turned the house upside down looking for it but couldn’t find it.
My husband said maybe it was a sign from God that we should let her stay home so the trip wouldn’t turn into a disaster.
OP finally found the passport in her husband’s desk. When he denied knowing how it got there she checked an interior camera that showed him going into her daughter’s room.
My husband said maybe it was a sign from God that we should let her stay home so the trip wouldn’t turn into a disaster.
I ignored his comment but later while I was cleaning his office I found the passport, tucked away in the 3rd drawer under a ton of papers. I was floored by this, I confronted him with it and he swore he had no idea why or how the passport got there.
I checked the upstairs camera and I saw him enter my daughter’s room. That was it for me, I screamed my head off at him then cancelled the whole trip completely.
When she confronted him with the proof he turned it around on her, saying he was going to have to pray about her recent behavior.
He started arguing saying I overreacted and that he didn’t want his kids to be “miserable” on the trip and that willing to apologize to my daughter if and when I reconsider my decision regarding the cancellation of the trip, because my stepkids will be devastated but I said it was final and that it was done.
He become cold and distant and said that he wants to take some time to do some fasting and get guidance from God about how he should deal with the disrespect and control I had displayed lately.
AITA for cancelling it altogether?
Is Reddit falling for his scheme? I bet not!
The top comment says that OP’s daughter is not free childcare.
This person says, in no uncertain terms, that her husband is controlling.
While this person takes off the kid gloves and calls him controlling.
And this commenter thinks OP needs to stop lying to herself and get out.
They say OP might be the AH if she doesn’t turn things around.
This is stunningly obvious from the outside.
So odd how it can look so different while you’re living it.