Everyone seems to hate Homeowner’s Associations, and often with good reason.
What would you do if your HOA was harassing you about every little thing that you did?
That is what the guy in this story was dealing with, so he took the time to look up the exact rules and used them to get two board members removed.
Let’s see how the story unfolds…
HOA Yells at me for training guide dog, and grilling. Then loses position on board.
To start the story some background you need to know about me.
I volunteer to train and raise service dogs.
My fiancee says clearly i have a look that says i am weak, and a push over.
I have constant encounters with karens who are just not ready for my responses when they engage me.
I have been in the military for 17 years when this happened and i was responsible for managing over 130 service members.
Iam anything but a push over.
Meet O, the service puppy.
I work with civilians so i have cultivated a polite exterior because i was counciled for looking unapproachable and scary to civilian counter parts.
The story as I said I raise service animals, so I fall under the ADA when it comes to regulations on where and what I can do with my puppy.
Well call him O.
O is an amazingly behaved black lab of 6 months.
O sounds like a great dog.
I have cultivated a level of trust and obedience where I can leave him in a sit with other dogs around so long as I am in eye sight he will stay.
I have raise a few pups by then and I would never have done that with them but O is amazing and I cant wait to get him back after his tour of duty helping Mrs. C be independent.
I meet the HOA Karen one Saturday, me my fiancee and O were going to head on a road trip to visit my finacees parents.
In our preparation the last on the list is always getting the kids to use the bathroom before a long trip.
So, we head out O gets busy and i grab a bag to clean it up.
I put him in a sit stay, and hand the leash to my girl and i start walking to the trash can.
Its about 100 feet from where he went.
There was a loud, angry sound.
I have clear line of sight to the dog and he is sitting pretty and alert and watching me intently for a hand cue or voice command.
As I am walking I hear a womenly screech.
I dont quit make it out, but it sounds angry.
I ignore it and keep walking to the dumpster deposit my waste bag and turn around to head back to my two favorite people.
It is then I make eye contact with the HOA Karen, Karen from here on out.
Karen is not happy.
She is your typical Karen not an inch over 5 foot and has the same circumference.
The short chopped hair that says im the manager now.
She looks me in the eyes and I finally listen to her shrill scream of “your dog must be on a leash and in your hand, my county state law says so I will call the cops”.
Now I dont do ignorant, and respect given is respect earned.
I was willing to try and de-escalate, my fiancee owns the condo and is super non confrontational.
So, for her I try to bring it back down to civil levels of discussion.
In a polite but firm voice I asked “if she even looked over at the dog before she started yelling at me”.
She doesn’t want to hear it.
She just bellows like a banshee again, I repeat.
This back and forth happens three or four times me calm her escalating in pitch and volume.
At this point she hasnt given reapect so none is required to be given back.
I break out my you done messed up NCO to junior voice it is loud, firm, and clearly states I’m done with your attitude lady.
He put her in her place.
I clearly tell her if she would have taken two seconds to look she would see the dog is sitting on a leash in someones hands”.
She stops bellowing at me looks and turns a bit red in the face then musters “you could just say thank you”.
Which I curtly reply “shut up and get out of my face”.
She waddled quickly off tail tucked into he condo door.
BBQing and grilling are NOT the same thing.
My next meeting with her was when I was grilling, the HOA states no charcoal grills and no smooking/bbq.
I was born in the north, but as a miltary brat moved to the south since I was two.
There is a difference between bbqing and grilling.
Bbq is twelve plus hours with coals of hardwood or wood smoking.
Grilling is cooking meat on a grill instead of the stove.
Why do HOA’s need to try to rule every little thing.
The HOA put out a reminder no bbqing on the premises and no coals.
So I was like awesome get a small propane grill, its not bbq but its better than nothing.
So i was out grilling and I hear a the banshee cry all to familiar now.
Again she didnt come up to me and talk she just started screaming.
He shut her down.
So I looked her right in the eye and with the same firm voice “shut up and go away, if you say one more word I’ll be the one calling the cops for harassment by an HOA member”.
She sputtered something about no grilling or open flames, and i told her show me in writting and by someone other than her.
She waddled off and then I was approached by the HOA president with the HOA by laws and sat to read them.
During which my fiancee started a conversation with them about another issue we were having with them.
She was in the middle of having the state attorney’s office ask some questions about activities they were trying to force her into paying for.
His fiancee can stand up for herself.
It wasn’t going well for the HOA and she took this opportunity to introduce herself.
While she maybe non-confrontational when it comes to small things, she will stand up for herself when it comes to it.
Her introducing herself changed everyones tone and they became oh so polite.
Karen tried to play the victim to her and say I was mean and could use some manners when engaging with people.
The fiancee put Karen in her place.
I love my soon to be wife, she let her paint her tale how she was a victim.
When she finished, she looked her dead in the eyes and said you know I was the one holdong the leash and i was standing right here when he was grilling.
So no, you got the same respect you gave.
She paled and faded to the back, thats when the president of the HOA stepped in and told me I cant have the grill and that i can be fined and i needed to follow the rules of the HOA or the next time he’ll be the one calling the cops.
He has no problem following the rules.
Well Pres, Roger that.
It is my job to enforce regulations in the military.
I spend hours reading instructions.
Nothing pleases me more than when i can shove the black and white in a jerk’s face at work to get my guys what they are owed or to force them to do the job right.
So, you want me to follownthe rules? Copy that buddy.
This is interesting!
So i began my research i found a few interesting things
- No HOA by law can be enforced if it is not the State database
- This particular HOA’s by laws were last updated 1994 it was 2016
- They state they follow my counties fire code, which follows nfpa
- Finally the gem. The exact lat and long coordinates of the HOA’s property lines.
So I get a login for the states data base and print the HOA’s by laws, I print the nfpa which states in a multi family home you can store propane tanks no bigger than 2.7 liters but they can total no more than 5.4 liters cumulatively.
I go to lowes get a rope tape measurer, and stakes.
I pull up google maps and mark the HOA boundry line on it.
Low and behold what do I find?
This is perfect.
A drainage ditch that is city property not ten feet from where I was grilling.
So, I take my coordinates my stakes and go carefully mark off the section of city property.
Now for the revenge, I call the city/county fire departments and request a permit to grill on said city property.
They said go for it I didnt need a permit for it no one would care.
I insisted and they said its my 50 bucks (they issued and even open flame) so with both permits it was 100 bucks but I got permission from the city to grill there for six months.
Time to grill.
The next day at 7:00AM I went to set up.
I carefully measuring so I was at least three feet into the city property, setup my cooler with enough meat and beer to grill till dooms day.
Then waited for the fireworks, it didn’t take long for Karen to come screaming at me.
I mean I was ten feet from the community pool and 3 three feet from the side walk gazebo that led to the pool.
Of course he recorded the interaction.
I just hit record on my phone and politely told her she has no need to yell and I am breaking no laws.
She kept screaming about no grilling and how she is tired of me and she going to get me arrested and kicked out if its the last thing she does.
She hasnt liked me since she saw me and has just been waiting to get me kicked out.
That now that she knows which condo is mine it is just a matter of time till she finds something.
On and on, I guess me polite and showing zero fear was making her mad because she tried to come take my stuff.
That escalated quickly!
Big no no, as she reached for my cooler i broke out my NCO voice and told her if she so much as brush a finger against my property I would remove the offending body part with force if necessary.
This sent her scurrying off again.
About twenty minutes later I see two cop cars pull up, and Mr. HOA pres himself.
He is all chummy with the cops and as they approach I hear him say yep same guy I already told him once before he cant grill on the HOA grounds.
He comes to a stop about ten feet from me one cop stays with him the other keeps walking up to me.
I have a nice grin on my face, I can hardly wait for the conversation to happen.
I bet he suspected that things weren’t going to go as planned.
The cop is slightly off put by my joyous face and slight giggle when I ask what seems to be the problem officer?
I get informed that i am in violation of the by laws and have been warned once already, and I am going to recieve a ticket for disturbing the peace for threatening the HOA when they were trying to enforce the rules, ticket for an illegal open flame, ticket for illegal storage of flammable substances on and on.
The last was if i didnt pack up I would be aressted and removed.
Now that he was done I first handed him my permit from the city to grill.
He had all the proof he needed that he wasn’t doing anything wrong.
He took it walked back to the pres and they discussed it for a moment then returned, says you cant get a permit from the city to grill on private property.
I then showed him the coordinates for the HOA and the google maps gridded drawing and my current gps location.
Mind you I am smiling handing sheet after sheet to him, because the grid was not all on one sheet and had addendums.
Took about 4 minutes to explain it to him.
As I was about to hand him more he held up a hand to stop me.
He knew that this guy was prepared.
He then asks how long I had planned this with a smirk.
I told him oh about a week, he gave me a look of disbelief but moved on.
He then asked me if i threatened karen?
I just played back the recording to him, at then end he said nothing seems outta place here you are free to go.
I stopped him and asked if i could file a complaint for HOA harassment through him.
He said no that the city clerk office is the correct place but he would document harrassment by the two of them and file the report for me.
Good riddance.
In my state its illegal to be harrassed by the HOA it comes with jail of a few months, fines as high as 5k and immediate removal from the board and the possibility of recovery of damages.
I settled for them both being removed from the board instead of filing a complaint.
I waved to karen everyday I grill or showed her my leash if i had O.
Wow, that was great revenge! People on HOA boards need to know their limits.
Keep reading to see what other people on Reddit have to say about this story.
This person hates people trying to enforce unnecessary regulations.
Now this would be funny.
Here is someone who experienced something similar.
You can’t always be soft spoken.
Sometimes confrontation is necessary.
This HOA president really learned her lesson.
If you liked that post, check this one about a guy who got revenge on his condo by making his own Christmas light rules.