All he wanted was clean hands. Instead, he triggered a full-on lather-fueled feud after daring to use his wife’s sacred, guest-only soap—despite the fact that they never have guests.

One pump led to total suds-based warfare, complete with artisan bottles, niche scents, and passive-aggressive sink displays.

Now the house is divided by essential oils and frosted glass.

Read on for the story!

AITA for not respecting fancy soap policy in our bathroom and accidentally starting a soap-based arms race?

So my wife (30F) bought this absurdly expensive soap from some a little shop.

It came in a tiny frosted glass bottle, wrapped in twine.

With ridiculous branding like “hints of pine, regret, and artisanal disapointment” or something like that.

She placed it on the bathroom counter and told me “This is for guests.” We dont have guests.

Ever.

Ok, maybe once every 2 months.

I told her that, but apparently the idea of a guest potentially seeing that we use commoner soap is too horrifying to bear.

So the fancy soap was enshrined like the Mona Lisa, untouched.

Ha!

Fast forward: I run out of my regular cheapo soap which came in a cracked plastic bottle with a pump that wheezed like a dying guinea pig.

So, in a moment of desperation and dirty hands I dared to touch the holy grail.

Was halfway through using a single pump of the fancy soap when she walked in looking at me as if I was defiling the sacred artifact or microwaving the Fabergé egg.

The HORROR.

She said I was wasting it and that it’s not for everyday hands. I was angry.

Then I did the unthinkable: I went out and bought my own fancy soap.

$30. Grapefruit and cedar, smells like if a lumberjack went to therapy.

I put it proudly on my side of the sink.

I declared that this is my new soap and only I have a right to use it.

Suddenly, it’s Cold War: Soap Edition.

The plot thickens.

That evening I saw over her shoulder she was searching more soap bottles on Etsy. Like she wanted revenge!

At this point I now want to invite some guests over to make sure they use my fancy soap and not her haha!

Now she’s mad I’m mocking her and says I’m turning cleanliness into a competition.

I told her she started the soap caste system, I just refused to be born into the lower class.

She hasn’t spoken to me in two days.

But I smell amazing.

Tell me AITA?

Redditors were mostly too amused to pick a solid side—though a few warned that mockery might be worse than fancy soap etiquette.

This person makes a good point about gifts in the future.

This person is glad to see it’s not just her.

And this person has some great feedback.

Turns out, in marriage, even a bar of soap can be a hill to die on.

And we all love to read about it.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.