When you accidently stumble upon the fact that someone is doing something illegal at your company, they will often do what they can to get you fired.

That is what happened to the sales manager in this story, so when he figured everything out, he began to plot his revenge.

It took a lot of time and effort, but he was able to not only get his boss fired, but also cost him thousands.

I was fired for inadvertently stumbling on my bosses malfeasance, I used his obsession with golf and watches to get him fired.

I was a young regional sales manager for a major branded consumer product.

This must be a big company.

I covered the grocery class of trade in 11 Western States. My division worked out of Chicago, and I had a home office on the West coast.

I had made my reputation by typically making my quota and keeping costs within budget. I would get re-assigned to struggling markets and more often than not, I would usually make my sales number.

Nothing too fancy, I just figured where the best opportunities were and concentrated on them.

Ahh, those were the days.

In those days, we had something called “Market Development Funds” MDF or as we called it “Making Days Fun” in the time before such things were deemed illegal, it was money we could literally use for almost anything you could imagine: wining and dining, sending buyers to the Super Bowl , taking them on “market research trips” (I once took 6 honcho’s for a weekend of fishing in Mexico)

As long as you had the receipts and your boss knew (except in cases where they specifically asked not to know) we were free to spend money as we saw fit. This was old school Mad Men style slush funds. All tax deductible!

This could end up being a lot of money.

Typically the MDF money was 2% of your total annual gross sales and was “use-it-or-lose-it”, meaning it had to be spent because it wouldn’t rollover. I always had some left over.

As a team player I would let my boss, Sasquatch know, so he could use it. No big deal.

Towards the end of the year, my weekly Fedex pack from the company started including sign-offs for payments to a supplier I had never heard of before, what was weird is they were for a demo company that wasn’t one of my regional suppliers (if you have ever been offered a sample or a coupon in a grocery store, that was a demo company).

This is starting to get weird.

I called the broker/agent in that market and learned that they had never used the company (or even heard of them).

I finally figured out that they were from Sasquatch and that he had thrown them in with my other sign-offs. I called him and asked if he knew what they were. He said that they should be assigned to my MDF and not to worry about them.

Something shady is going on here.

This was a little unusual because demos would normally be taken out of other monies or came down from marketing. Whatever, I signed off on them.

Hung out to dry

About 3 months later I was called into HQ for a meeting where I was told I was being transferred to a market that I had never worked before and would be required to relocate. At the time, my wife was pregnant and we just started an extensive remodel on our newly purchased house.

Why would they want to get rid of someone just because he can’t move?

The company had some relocation benefits, but it was just too hectic to pull up roots and move to the Southeast.

I declined the offer and was told that I could look for another job within the company or receive a severance package. I wound up taking the severance.

The truth comes to light.

Several months later, one of my ex co-workers told me that my region had been taken over by one of Sasquatch’s past work associates who he managed to get hired in my spot and that the region was tanking.

Badly. Nothing made sense.

Why was I terminated and then replaced by someone who lived in another city and who couldn’t do the job?

The pieces are starting to come together.

I started to think in my naivety that I may have put a target on my back. After some research and digging (which was much harder before the internet) I learned that the “demo company” billing the MDF, was based in my ex-bosses previous city and was just a PO Box, a telephone and a DBA registered by ……. THE NEW PERSON IN MY JOB (I later I found out it was his girlfriend/mistress)

I was livid. Like most people, I tend to plan revenge in my head, but never really go through with it. Most of the time, it’s a coping mechanism and not very useful in moving on past being wronged. But, this was so egregious, so uncalled for, and so disruptive to my life that I felt I HAD to get even.

He is making a serious plan.

My plan evolved to take this guy down. Whatever the time it took. Whatever the cost in lives or money. I was going to get this guy. I may have been able to rat him out to the company, but they might have dismissed my complaint as coming from a disgruntled ex-employee with an axe to grind.

The Hook

I decided that I was going to approach guy as a phony recruiter, not just a guy collecting resumes, but as a RETAINED CORPORATE HEADHUNTER, someone paid to onboard people for big jobs. I had spent a year early in my career working for a super exclusive headhunting firm and knew exactly what transpired in the process.

He is really taking this revenge plan seriously.

My subterfuge required international telexes, phony letterhead, faked English accents and overseas friends to do my bidding.

Sasquatch was obsessed with expensive watches and golf (he played regularly and watched pro golf both on TV and live). He would incessantly chatter on about both subjects.

To bait him, I arranged for him to be approached for an executive position with a major Swiss watch company for a position tied to pro golf (and other swanky sports) sponsorships and included a shopping list of benefits and perquisites.

This job is exactly what the guy would love.

The job would require hobnobbing with major sports organizers, flying around the world (1st Class, of course) and basically spending money. It was a job he could only dream of.

The Set-up

In the slow and methodical long con I strung him along until the time was right to “close” with an offer.

The only catch was that he had to report to Switzerland for final offer and on boarding.

I deliberately scheduled it for the week of the old job’s division meetings and reporting.

He won’t be able to hide what he is doing.

They were mandatory and impossible to miss without raising red flags. Sasquatch was worried that his absence would be impossible to cover (especially if he was out of the country)

The “headhunting” firm said they could move the appointment up a few days so that he would be able to attend his meeting, but that he would need to purchase an unrestricted Business Class seat and make his own hotel reservations. “Save your receipts!” and the “watch company” will reimburse you he was told.

This revenge is very vindictive.

Sasquatch showed up to his swanky hotel suite (using his own credit card for the $$$$ room) and promptly received a note from the watch company that his appointment had to be rescheduled for the following Monday because of a major corporate crisis.

Sasquatch called the phony recruiter in a panic about missing the corporate meetings back in the States, it was agreed that he would call in sick and that whatever happened with the old job, he was heading to much greener fairways (hehehehe) Enjoy your weekend in Europe, by Monday you’ll be in your dream job….

The Sting

Well, that cat is out of the bag now.

While Sasquatch was cooling his jets in Europe. I nonchalantly called his boss, the President of the division and casually asked for a reference on Sasquatch’s work ethic and dates of employment.

You’d be surprised how often this “mistake” happens.

The President, to his credit, didn’t tip his hand or act very surprised by the call, but like a good corporate wonk, he referred me to human resources.

I let it slip that he was in Europe finalizing his new job and that he’d already given the company notice. My bad.

Bloody aftermath and how the revenge over stepped it’s original mission

Good thing he still new people who could give him the inside scoop.

Eventually I was able to put together the aftermath from old co-workers and other people in the trade (who did not know I was the revenge ninja).

When Monday came and went, Sasquatch must have been apoplectic (this is to be assumed since we had cut all communications to let him twist in the wind) because we received at least 20 calls to the exchange and multiple faxes.

Ouch, and all on his own dime.

Sasquatch hung around the hotel for a day or two and then finally decided to leave for home. I assume at some point he may have contacted the watch company, but I never confirmed it.

When he finally got home he found his office had been packed up and left with his wife. An HR person met him off site to give him his severance and retrieve the car and other company property.

I heard his wife left him sometime later and his mistress was fired for theft.

Now that is an expensive mistake.

I figure he spent at least 10K on travel and hotel.

Epilogue

Keeping his involvement a secret must have been hard, but it was the smart move.

I wish I could say I tipped my hand and told Sasquatch that I was the author of his demise, but it really served no purpose and in theory may have exposed me to some retribution of my own.

By my moral lodestar I got even with a thief who was content to steal and take my livelihood.

That was plenty.

Now that is a well-planned out revenge that was very satisfying to read. I love it.

Check out what the people in the comments have to say about it.

Here is someone who really enjoyed this story.

This commenter loved the story.

He played it perfectly.

This commenter wonders how he handled the phone calls.

It sounds like they fired him pretty quick.

Playing the long game leads to epic revenge.

This was a satisfying read.

If you liked that story, check out this post about an oblivious CEO who tells a web developer to “act his wage”… and it results in 30% of the workforce being laid off.