Boundaries can feel like rejection to someone who doesn’t think they need them.

So, what would you do if your mother-in-law used your door code to pop in unannounced, sometimes even rearranging things in your home? Would you keep changing the code to avoid upsetting her? Or would you lay down the law and let her know she needs to call first?

In the following story, one woman deals with this exact situation and opts for the latter. Here’s how it all played out.

AITA for telling my mother-in-law she can’t just let herself in anymore?

My MIL has a habit of coming over unannounced, sometimes early in the morning or late at night, “because she was in the neighborhood.”

We have a keypad on our front door, and anytime we give her the code so she can check on the house while we’re gone, she keeps it and uses it whenever she wants.

It’s worth noting we return the favor when they’re out of town, but we leave her spare key where she keeps it hidden and don’t pop in when she’s home without calling ahead first. Also, it’s a pain to delete and recreate new passcodes on our particular pad.

When she tried to fix the situation, her MIL got offended.

We’ve already changed the code twice because of this, but I don’t want to keep changing it every time we give her access to the house.

Last week, she let herself in while I was working from home, made small talk, and then began reorganizing our kitchen while insisting our daughter needed more “snacks” (We don’t keep too many sweets in the house).

I told her that moving forward, I’d appreciate a heads-up before coming over and that the code is for when we’re away, not an open invitation. She got offended and said I was “pushing her out of her child’s life,” and now my spouse is stuck in the middle.

AITA?

Yikes! That sounds like a really tough situation.

Let’s see how the folks over at Reddit think she should’ve handled it.

According to this reader, her husband should take her side.

This person suggests finding someone else to look in on the house.

Yet another person who thinks the husband needs to stand up against his mother.

For this person, her request was completely fair.

She should talk to her husband. It’s his mother, and there’s a good chance he has better ways of talking to her without alienating her.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.