She Invited All Her Friends and Their Partners to Dinner — Except One Friend’s Fiancé, Because She Can’t Stand Him
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In any social situation, it’s very likely that you’ll feel more drawn to some folk than others. That doesn’t mean that you don’t respect or even like other people, but whether it’s at work or at a party, within your own extended family or your friend group, you’re just more likely to click with certain people. That’s absolutely natural and okay, and not a problem – so long as you’re not mean to the folk you don’t have that immediate relationship with, that is.
That kind of mature pleasantness that we all exhibit towards acquaintances we don’t necessarily click with is something that the woman in this story doesn’t seem to have learned – or at the very least, doesn’t seem to think at all necessary to deploy. Because as far as she is concerned, the event in question – a meal for her birthday – is all about her, so she shouldn’t be nice to someone if she doesn’t want to. Unfortunately, she’s about to find out that this isn’t quite how friendship works as an adult.
Read on to find out why.
AITA because I told my friend her fiancé can’t come to my birthday and she thinks I’m being unfair because I let everyone else’s partners come?
I (25, female) am having a birthday dinner with a few close friends – around twelve of them. I told everyone that they could bring their significant others except for one of them.
She (24, female) went out of her way to ask if her fiancé could come after this due to me not telling her he was allowed, and I told her no.
She’s now upset and says I’m being hypocritical because everyone else’s partners are invited.
The thing is, I don’t like her fiancé. Nothing major ever happened between us and I don’t think he’s a bad person. I just find him annoying to be around.
Let’s see what she has against her friend’s fiancé.
He’s incredibly extroverted and talks a lot. Every time we’re together, he’s asking people questions, making jokes, or making constant conversation.
He acts like he’s known everyone for ten years even if he just met them five minutes ago. I’m a pretty quiet person, so I find his personality exhausting.
I’ve also noticed that whenever I’m telling a story, he’ll ask a million questions about it afterward. I don’t enjoy it. I just want people to listen to me talk without turning everything into a whole conversation.
I told friend this exactly how i wrote it and she says that’s a ridiculous reason not to invite him. I told her that just because they anre engaged doesn’t mean I automatically have to enjoy someone’s company.
Yikes. And there’s one particular thing that really upset her friend.
The part she’s especially upset about is that I invited everyone else’s partners.
I don’t really see the hypocrisy. I like their partners I find them all to be very well rounded people. I don’t like hers, I find him extremely annoying.I’m not going to pretend I want someone there just because he’s engaged to my friend.
She says I’m embarrassing her and making her choose between coming to my birthday alone or staying home with her fiancé because he’ll be embarrassed and feel singled out if everyone gets to go besides him.
I told her I’m not making her choose anything, and that it would simply just be messed up for her not to come to my birthday gathering because of this.
And this woman really can’t see how awful she’s being.
I honestly don’t think I’m doing anything wrong. It’s my birthday, and I don’t think I should have to invite someone I find annoying just because my friend happens to be engaged to him.
I do think my friend should be invited and come since we’ve known each other since our early college days.
Am I actually being unreasonable here?
AITA?
Wow, the complete lack of self-awareness here is incredible.
She sees no issue with making her friend be the only person there without her partner?
She doesn’t realise quite how rude she’s being, just because she doesn’t like the person her friend loves?
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Let’s see what folk on Reddit made of this.
This person called out her hypocrisy.
And others thought if she didn’t want this partner to come, she shouldn’t have invited any of them.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman who refuses to change her 4th of July traditions for her in-laws, sparking a family feud.
Meanwhile, this Redditor cut to the chase of exactly what kind of person this woman is.
How dreadfully unfortunate for this woman that her friend decided to fall in love and get engaged to someone who is actually a decent person that takes an interest in the people who are important to his fiancée, to the point that he asks them questions and tries to have conversations with them. Honestly, the audacity to not check with your introverted friend who doesn’t like conversation first? Yikes.
The entitlement from this woman is crazy. As if she thinks that she’s not making her friend choose, that her friend should be totally content attending her birthday alone when everyone else brings their partners, all because he’s a chatty guy and wants to get to know other folk. It really feels like the birthday girl might be jealous or feel territorial about the fact that her friend’s fiancé treats people like he’s known them a long time – as in, he’s familiar and jokey and respectful with them. Most likely because he asks questions and actually gets to know people.
Genuinely, this woman seems quite unpleasant, and it wouldn’t be wrong at all for her friend and her fiancé to make a swift exit from her life. Because she’s shown them where they stand and the fact that as a couple, they’re not welcome in her life. Sure it’s just a birthday party but it’s a symbol of how she feels, and they’re not welcome there. Good to know.
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